Self Help

Leftovers!

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leftovers

Image by Muffet on flickr

Coming out of the holiday season, adjusting my belt to accommodate comfort, I admit to overindulging. I’m not going to complain I’m just going to get going on the physical health aspect of what I want to be in the new year.

I know some people who frankly believe eating leftovers is the worst thing you can do. They turn their noses up at the idea and look at you as if you’re completely without polish or sophistication. I have worked this until I’m not the least bit bothered. Turkey and ham sandwiches the next couple of days is right up my alley.

As we go into the new year many of us will be dealing with leftovers. Not only the ones in all the pretty little Tupperware containers, but personal and/or professional business that didn’t get completed.

If you shot for the stars and hit the moon you’re probably celebrating like a Boss. But, if you left goals and commitments unaccomplished you might be suffering a hangover that doesn’t require any alcohol to inflict its head pounded displeasure. What a difference a day makes is nothing compared to the changing landscape of a year in review.

Whether it is original to John Lennon or not I picked up a favorite quote from him; “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” Before we launch in to pick up where we left off we might want to inventory why this is leftover and does it still fit with what I completed and discovered in the last twelve months.

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Image via comedy_nose on flickr

After the third day I have kind of had my fill of the leftover ham and turkey. I have to get rid of the bounty of sugar goodies that linger on the shelves and in my secret hiding places. It’s time to end the reprieve and get back to business. Christmas is my favorite season but I’ve learned to greet it warmly and definitively get over it all quickly.

My plans for this year are lofty. challenging, and will take more than I am to fulfill. I’m making my choices on purpose. Being more deliberate than I have ever been. I have no thoughts of failing. While I am not oblivious, to the many obstacles and threats facing my best intentions, I know personal resolve is the only way things get done.

think big ryan altamera on flickr

by Ryan Altermera on flickr

I’m stating my objectives clearly, sharing my dreams openly, and I vow to hold myself accountable. I give my inner-circle permission to call me out for any and all excuse making. I’m not the only one counting on me. Others are hoping for my success and will benefit from my achievements. I don’t want to let any of us down.

I’m interested in you, your dreams, and knowing you are reaching your best life. Please let share where you see yourself one year from now.

 

A Few More Exciting Reviews!

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With the release of my new book inching closer. I couldn’t be happier with these early reviews. My heart is full with thankfulness for the encouragement.

A powerful example of the desperation for identity a fatherless child can seek. Written by a grandfather who was fatherless for his fatherless grandson. Rick poignantly captures the awe that comes with the birth of his grandson, Jaden, and his commitment to ensuring that Jaden has the father figure he needs to find his way. A must-read for every man, fatherless or not, who must set an example for the next generation.

Pat Haddock,  Author of Dear Aunt Peggy, Emails from Petey Pup, and Amelia’s Gift

We are hard-wired to seek a life fully alive. To do that we need direction toward what we are created to do.  I have worked with many leaders that struggle with their self-worth, identity, and the expectations of others.  One of the biggest factors I have found that holds us back from success and significance is the lack of a healthy relationship with our Dad or no relationship at all. This book is a must read for every leader to heal themselves or equip them to heal the leaders they are sowing in to.  Thank you Rick for this incredible book on the true Fathers love and how to move into the fullness of who we are!

John Ramstead, CEO Beyond Influence, Inc. Founder of the Eternal Leadership Podcast named a must for CEO’s Entrepreneurs and Leaders by Blogspot.

As a mother whose son gave me my first glance at real unconditional love, I fell in love with Rick’s relationship with his grandson and the story of Divine Healing that it was so obviously designed to facilitate. As a daughter whose father experienced the same wounds Rick bore, my understanding and compassion dropped from my head to my heart because of Rick’s willingness to show the reader all of his insides. As a seeker and messenger with a similar mission to witness the empowerment of the wounded, I am grateful to see this leader rising.

Amanda Johnson, Founder of True to Intention,  Author of Upside-Down Mommy

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Thank you so much for telling others about my book. I deeply appreciate it!

Pass Me Not!

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People watching nathangibbs flickr

Image courtesy of Nathan Gibbs via flickr.com

I’m a people watcher. I can sit at the mall or a public square and just take in the passers-by. I often ask myself questions as I try to think about this person or that person. They’re just strangers yet we are so inextricably connected. We might never share a word of conversation, make eye contact, or feel anything toward each other but we are sharing life.

The author writes the book, tells the story, and we are moved to tears. We identify with the pain, heartache, and triumph. We recognize their courage, creativity,  and deeply appreciate them inspiring us to live in hope. We create platforms of recognition, bestow accolades, and celebrate their accomplishments. I wonder, when did we start to care?

When we hear a powerful story that brings out the champion in all of us  there is oftentimes isolation, agony, and some sort of abuse  built-in to the story line. On some level it strikes a chord and we rally for the under dog that made it to the top. But what if the author was a passer-by, as we sit watching, when they were actually in the throes of despair? Maybe the little girl being molested, the little boy being beaten, the woman being battered, or the man thinking of suicide passed within inches of us.

Does our interests begin at publishing? Does our support happen the most when it’s needed the least? We don’t usually makes Rock Stars out of people unless there is correlation between our stories. An intimacy transpires when we identify ourselves within the story being told. We are moved by them, because secretly, they are telling our story. They are us! At least enough like us to care about.

I can’t help myself. To me, the magic isn’t in whats being shared as much as it is in sharing itself. This is what we wanted before it happened. Before the nomenclature of terrible injustices, included us on the list of survivors, we wanted people to care. We hope for someone to reach out in kindness and give a hoot about what is going on in our lives. Much crying is done without tears. We often don’t hear the inner wailing until someone acts out or makes it out alive or doesn’t make it at all.

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Image courtesy of Timothy K Hamilton via flickr.com

We know life is not all pain and suffering. It has great joy and celebration too. The best balance isn’t created by extremes. It’s less risky to live from the center. Just suppose being caring, empathetic, and altruistic is the prescription for what ails us. If our caring and sharing does so much after the fact just imagine what it could do before or even during times of brutality. Maybe our ultimate isn’t to walk in sunshine. Maybe, just maybe, it’s dancing in the rain.

I sit watching. Who are you? What are you going through? What’s behind those eyes? That smile? Are you avoiding eye contact for a reason? Are you okay? I need to feel the energy, the inspiration, and the responsibility to not let you walk alone. So that I won’t be alone either. If I’m not careful you will pass by me and we won’t even know one another is there. May I join your party? Who wants to celebrate by themselves? I see you everyday, on the bus, at the store, or in the hall at work. I’d love to know your name.

Pass me not! Caring about you does so much for me!

 

 

That Will Cost You!

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image courtesy of pixabay

Not sure of the fine print? Did you omit the details of the deal? A failure to pay attention can turn out to be expensive.

Overreact and you might pay more than what’s necessary. Misread the conversation and the opportunity may slip right through your fingers. Use the wrong opening line and the lady might dismiss you forever. Mistakes can be costly. Beyond the loss of dollars and cents are the larger questions we have when it comes to making sense in the first place. We are not always rational.

Many people would like to live their lives completely open. An open heart, open mind, and being open to learning and exploring. They want to discover what’s behind door number 3. The vulnerability, of positioning yourself this way, can cost you. When you choose to see the world through innocent and nonthreatening eyes you may have some sharks swimming near you who think it is their right to take a bite out of you. We must decide for ourselves the sincerity and authenticity of the way we live our lives.

The chances we take reflects, to some degree, what matters to us. The more important something is the more we seem willing to risk. We can lose our vibrancy and vitality by one too many things not going our way. When enough things don’t work out optimism can yield to pessimism. Fight or flight remains faithful in offering us the choice for every life encounter. There is a significant monetary, emotional, and sometimes physical cost to consider in all of our decisions. What will this cost if I do and what will this cost if I don’t.

I think we have all been cautioned about, never say never. I find never has been granted an inflated ego. I have some “never again’s” that are permanent. The book has been closed. I learned my lesson concerning that. It’s over, finished, been there – done that. It’s a matter of wisdom, maturity, and experience. We are resolved enough to mentor any student ready to learn, about that. We have determined the cost, for that particular commodity, is too high. It’s just not worth it.

pricetag

Image courtesy of publicdomainpictures.net

Then there are the things that may have caused pain, heartache, and discomfort. We say, I’m not going to ever try again. Maybe it’s love, or a dream, or going after a job you really want. You got shut down and it left you unstable, immobilized, or fearful. We artificially inseminate our lives with isolation, disconnection, and cocoon in disappointment. The knock at the door is the same; what will this cost if I choose to never try again? Maybe it is worth it to re-engage in the things I place a high value on. If I stay stunted it could cost me and I might forfeit the very reason I’m alive! Just maybe, in fact, it is worth it. We might need to risk again.

Everything has a price-tag. Whatever you decided will cost you!

Do you think we get what we pay for?

 

 

Walk With Me!

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Image courtesy of pixabay via free pics

My work is to encourage people to never give up on their dreams. To press through the hard times. To believe in the hope of better days. To celebrate every accomplishment with everyone I can. I have benefited from words of inspiration, the camaraderie of  life-giving thoughts, and living examples. I’ve known the sweet experience of walking with people who only want the best for you. I’ve been on the receiving end of tremendous generosity. Giving back isn’t a sacrifice for me, it’s a labor of love.

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My grandson, Jaden, at the Aquatic Park, beach in San Francisco.

Not everything that I set out to do has worked out the way I wanted. I press on! My companions have changed many times over the years. I walk on! Sometimes I’ve had to walk alone. Sometimes I’ve chosen poorly in deciding who to walk with. I walk on! Disappointment has dominated my psyche. My own failures have sidelined me, at times. Instead of becoming a beggar, I walk on. I’ve known my share of rejection. I’ve learned to walk on quickly.

I would rank abandonment as one of life’s worst experiences. Not only the disappearance of key people in your life, but also, the withholding of affection. Betrayal, professionally or personally, can rock your boat. You might not be able to walk on water but you can, walk on, even if you can barely breathe. If nobody wants to help you, help yourself. When you do, other people and relationships will show up, to advance you and your causes. I know this to be true. Sometimes what looks like rejection is really protection. Some relationships will keep you from becoming a complete you.

Most everyone I know has been invited to quit. On a regular basis. Things can break your heart. Just don’t let it break your spirit. Walk on! There is a divine intention that came with your first breath. No matter what has happened that intention is purposely trying to lead you to abundance. Walk on! You don’t want to give your consent to being disqualified from life. Walk on! Walk on! Walk on! There is nothing powerful enough, to block aligning with providence, except forfeiture. Don’t be a spectator of your life. Please, walk on!

Who hasn’t been stuck, paralyzed, or disheartened at some time or another? Even if you feel buried under layers and layers of  setbacks, kerfuffles, and blow-outs; walk on! I have dug myself out of some deep pits. I’ve been in some places so dry my mouth was scorched. I’ve seen the mountaintop crumble into the sea. I have stood alone in the darkest of nights. I walk on because I still see the pinnacle.

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Walking with Jaden at Lands End in San Francisco.

The universe isn’t dangling the proverbial carrot in front of you. The possibilities of what can happen aren’t teasers to make a fool out of you. That pull toward higher ground is not an illusion. Your imagination isn’t playing tricks on you. Believe! Believe that the spark residing inside you will lead to a three-alarm fire. You have an incomplete assignment with success. You have a rendezvous with destiny, if you will just walk on!!!!

In spite of past achievements and failures, I’m walking on. In your own way and in your own life, will you, walk with me?

 

 

 

 

 

Big Business!

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open-for-business-libby-levi-on-flickr

Image courtesy of Libby Levi via flickr.com

The value of anything is determined by its exchange rate. The price the seller will accept and the price the buyer will pay is a basis for establishing value. But an exceptional bargain might negate the theory. Out of desperation the seller might sell something below its worth. The buyer may know this and scoop it up. Bargain hunters are aplenty!

Assets!

With a family to support, and in a pinch, I sold a Gibson 335 guitar with a Roland Jazz 120 amp. I deeply discounted the pair for a quick sale. Sold them for less than half of what they were worth. They were prized possessions. I wasn’t that good of a guitar player but I had hope that I would be someday. We got through the tough time we were in. My kids were glad to have food on the table. I still miss the stuff. Wish I had them back. I didn’t pursue learning the instrument after that.

Possessions are different from our lives. Manufactured items and experiences have a shelf life. They won’t last forever. I doubt they were ever meant too. Junkyards are full of what used to be exciting. Very few things we acquire appreciate. Many things lose value at the point of sale. Even a lifetime of savings can be gone in a day. Manipulated markets crash. People get laid off. Life can change quick.

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Image courtesy of Peter Rukavina via flickr.com

It’s easy to take temporal things as a template for what is priceless. Our lives are different from possessions. They never go down in value. The most ravaged among us, the most addicted, even those who seem too far gone to ever come back are as valuable as the day they were born. Maybe not to you. It’s quite possible you can’t see their worth. But love can!

Liabilities!

I had a new car. I was up at Big Bear to speak at a youth camp. I was on my way to pick up a few things from the convenience store. Coming toward me, down the hill, on a two lane road was a car completely out of control. I had nowhere to go. I brought my car to a stop. The other car was all over the road, skidding from side to side. I was frozen in place as this car fishtailed, finally broadsided into the driver side of my car. He was drunk and got away with it. $16,000 dollars damage to my vehicle.

My car was never the same. I ended up trading it just to be free from the disappointment. Somethings can’t ever be made right. The loss is permanent. But that’s not true of your life. Some opportunities have passed. Some relationships are no longer possible. Some choices are final. Some decisions can’t be undone. But your life is just as valuable as the day you took your first breath.

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Image courtesy of Banalities via flickr.com

Repairs!

Accidents of omission and commission are equally repairable. We live down to expectations when we feel an agreement with untruths. Even self-sabotage is dismiss-able. Broken and dysfunctional people prey on the wounded. Too many make a business out of exploiting others. Reveling in the revealing of secrets. Leeches living on those struggling to breathe. They will always be small businesses. Bankrupt of virtue before they ever open shop.

When you rise from the ashes. Claim the life you were meant to have. Separate truth from fiction. Live up to the inherent worthiness that waits for you. That’s Big Business. It’s never too late. Start today!

Are you getting what you’re worth?

 

On Purpose!

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Candy Binge by comedy_nose on flickr

Image courtesy of comedy_nose via flickr.com

We will do these three things today.

EAT!

We will be deciding all day long what we will devour. Not just how we nourish our body, but, how we feed our spirit. Some will experience the pain of gain while others will deal with the pain of loss. For whatever time we are not sleeping, conscious and unconscious vibrations, energy, and patterns will be hard at work. Our reactions to everything will determine if we are eating healthy.

FEEL!

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Image courtesy of Pexels via free stock photo

We will feel things today. All day! Things we don’t want to feel and things we do. Some will be familiar to us, having interacted, on so many occasions. Other feelings might seem strange and distant. There will no doubt be, some mystery and romance, toying with our affections. How we feel about our selves dominates how we feel about every thing. The treacherous feeling of hate could make an appearance. But, will he be invited to stay? Opportunities to give and receive love and kindness will be all over the landscape, will we feel each one? Nothing is more inaccurate, than to think you have no control, over what you feel.

THOUGHTS!

You can expect somewhere between 50,000 and 70,000 thousand thoughts today. About 35 to 48 every minute. The courtship of thoughts and feelings meet at the designated spot. The hiding place of secret lovers where the head and the heart fall into one another’s arms. The relationship will help or hurt. Support or abuse. Like the items on a smorgasbord we have to choose wisely. Thoughts are like birds. We can’t stop them from flying over our heads but we can stop them from making a nest in our hair. Whether on purpose or by default what we think about we bring about. Thoughts take us in one of two directions.

What will you dine on today?