The Mission of Transformation!?

The seven truths that lead me to a life I don’t want to leave.

It took over fifty years to live it out and two years to write it but today, on my sixtieth birthday, I’m happy to share my journey with you.sixty-and-two

I had to unravel a serious emotional, mental, and religious knot. My dad abandoned me and I had three stepfathers by the time I was nine. I was raised in an ultra conservative religion and yet conformity didn’t set me free.

I searched and searched, good places and bad, but the pain never stopped until, that one moment in time when everything changed. I’m fortunate. I can pinpoint the time, place, and circumstances that marked my transformation. It was only the beginning but I would never be the same. book-promo-pic

I didn’t know what being wanted felt like. I had no sense of worthiness. Any uniqueness existed in my eternal defect. Things don’t last. I didn’t know where I belonged. With no clarity, and the absence of my identity I roamed into hyper-masculinity and developed approval addiction.

When my grandson dropped out of heaven I became a man!

master-book-release-picRead the whole real life story, with the ugly left in, and hope for us all!

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Leftovers!

leftovers

Image by Muffet on flickr

Coming out of the holiday season, adjusting my belt to accommodate comfort, I admit to overindulging. I’m not going to complain I’m just going to get going on the physical health aspect of what I want to be in the new year.

I know some people who frankly believe eating leftovers is the worst thing you can do. They turn their noses up at the idea and look at you as if you’re completely without polish or sophistication. I have worked this until I’m not the least bit bothered. Turkey and ham sandwiches the next couple of days is right up my alley.

As we go into the new year many of us will be dealing with leftovers. Not only the ones in all the pretty little Tupperware containers, but personal and/or professional business that didn’t get completed.

If you shot for the stars and hit the moon you’re probably celebrating like a Boss. But, if you left goals and commitments unaccomplished you might be suffering a hangover that doesn’t require any alcohol to inflict its head pounded displeasure. What a difference a day makes is nothing compared to the changing landscape of a year in review.

Whether it is original to John Lennon or not I picked up a favorite quote from him; “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.” Before we launch in to pick up where we left off we might want to inventory why this is leftover and does it still fit with what I completed and discovered in the last twelve months.

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Image via comedy_nose on flickr

After the third day I have kind of had my fill of the leftover ham and turkey. I have to get rid of the bounty of sugar goodies that linger on the shelves and in my secret hiding places. It’s time to end the reprieve and get back to business. Christmas is my favorite season but I’ve learned to greet it warmly and definitively get over it all quickly.

My plans for this year are lofty. challenging, and will take more than I am to fulfill. I’m making my choices on purpose. Being more deliberate than I have ever been. I have no thoughts of failing. While I am not oblivious, to the many obstacles and threats facing my best intentions, I know personal resolve is the only way things get done.

think big ryan altamera on flickr

by Ryan Altermera on flickr

I’m stating my objectives clearly, sharing my dreams openly, and I vow to hold myself accountable. I give my inner-circle permission to call me out for any and all excuse making. I’m not the only one counting on me. Others are hoping for my success and will benefit from my achievements. I don’t want to let any of us down.

I’m interested in you, your dreams, and knowing you are reaching your best life. Please let share where you see yourself one year from now.

 

Responsible Beauty!

Christmas and the season around it conjures up many varied and different emotions and thoughts for so many of us. While this has always been my favorite holiday I know, for some, it isn’t the best time of year.Merry Christmas

Spending the last two years writing my book, digging through past experiences, healing things buried in the deepest parts of me, and claiming the life that had remained elusive has left me in the best place I’ve ever been. My heart has never enjoyed such thankfulness.

I’m on track to have the greatest Holiday Season of my life. Is everything perfect? you ask. Well, yes it is. I have challenges before me, problems that seem committed to nag at me, and the reality of things that might never change. But, I have learned some things that have overhauled my perspective.

I am responsible to make my life beautiful. I would make my nose smaller, fire my receding hairline, and reclaim my youthful physicality if I could. I would undo my biggest mistakes, give myself a better beginning, and live a storybook life if it was in my power. These things are distractions, interruptions, and  thieves of beauty.

Everyone has a story. And everyone’s story matters. A key to having a beautiful life is making your story matter to you. Many of us limped out of childhood. Some didn’t have much of a childhood at all. Some have sentence themselves to a life that could have been, wallowing in despair, instead of realizing the life that is has the potential to be the life of their dreams.

Someone said, “success is the sweetest revenge.” With so many definitions of success it is incredibly important for us to define success for ourselves. I know this; you can beat the odds. No matter what the hurdles are we can manage to alter the way we see things. What may seem like a conspiracy to destroy you can be harnessed  to propel you to new heights.

I’m making no attempt to trivialize, minimize, or otherwise diminish the details of whatever hardships you may be facing. Having overcome childhood traumas, violations to numerous to list, and much personal dysfunction I have come out on the other side. Triumphant! I’m living the life I never thought possible. And, you can too.

The decision came down to simplicity, which is where wisdom resides. I can keep my story, continue to paint in ugly details, or I can use different colors and brush strokes to give myself a portrait of my life I want to hang on the wall and look at all the time. I can tell you that only you can turn your pain into purpose.

During this time of year it’s easy to see the heightened pleasure and the pain of our fellow-man. Wayne Dyer wrote about a powerful concept; “if you change the way you look at things – the things you look at change.” I can validate this statement as truth!

I hope you amaze yourself by finding the beauty that is within you! I hope you give love away and get more love than you ever thought possible this holiday season. And I hope you give yourself the gift of you!

 

A Few More Exciting Reviews!

With the release of my new book inching closer. I couldn’t be happier with these early reviews. My heart is full with thankfulness for the encouragement.

A powerful example of the desperation for identity a fatherless child can seek. Written by a grandfather who was fatherless for his fatherless grandson. Rick poignantly captures the awe that comes with the birth of his grandson, Jaden, and his commitment to ensuring that Jaden has the father figure he needs to find his way. A must-read for every man, fatherless or not, who must set an example for the next generation.

Pat Haddock,  Author of Dear Aunt Peggy, Emails from Petey Pup, and Amelia’s Gift

We are hard-wired to seek a life fully alive. To do that we need direction toward what we are created to do.  I have worked with many leaders that struggle with their self-worth, identity, and the expectations of others.  One of the biggest factors I have found that holds us back from success and significance is the lack of a healthy relationship with our Dad or no relationship at all. This book is a must read for every leader to heal themselves or equip them to heal the leaders they are sowing in to.  Thank you Rick for this incredible book on the true Fathers love and how to move into the fullness of who we are!

John Ramstead, CEO Beyond Influence, Inc. Founder of the Eternal Leadership Podcast named a must for CEO’s Entrepreneurs and Leaders by Blogspot.

As a mother whose son gave me my first glance at real unconditional love, I fell in love with Rick’s relationship with his grandson and the story of Divine Healing that it was so obviously designed to facilitate. As a daughter whose father experienced the same wounds Rick bore, my understanding and compassion dropped from my head to my heart because of Rick’s willingness to show the reader all of his insides. As a seeker and messenger with a similar mission to witness the empowerment of the wounded, I am grateful to see this leader rising.

Amanda Johnson, Founder of True to Intention,  Author of Upside-Down Mommy

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Thank you so much for telling others about my book. I deeply appreciate it!

An Amazing Two Years!

What I thought would be two months turned into two years. As I approach the final days until my book is released I have a number of thoughts and emotions swirling in and around me. I am very thankful. And, apprehensive. A book that lays out many details of your life can be disconcerting and yet authenticity is required to be of value.

The early reviews have been more positive than I ever dreamed. Strong and encouraging with a consensus of timeliness and accuracy. I’m more than thankful.

Some Early Reviews

“Rick’s amazing book is a heartfelt love letter from God to the world. Whether you have a relationship with your biological father or not, Rick’s true story of his journey from abandonment to his understanding that God is our Father and that love is a decision will touch you and impact all of your relationships. Rick’s book should be required reading for all fathers.”

Kevin Knebl, CMEC – Int’l Speaker/Author/Trainer/ Executive Coach and the Co-Author of “The Social Media Sales Revolution: The New Rules for Finding Customers, Building Relationships, and Closing More Sales Through Online Networking” (McGraw-Hill)

This isn’t just a novel it’s a journey. Rick takes you with him through the muck and mire while showing glimpses of the deepest imaginable love. It isn’t just a book for the “fatherless,” but a book for anyone struggling to find their own worth or hold on to it. It’s easy to get lost in our busy and socially overwhelming world, but Rick’s book is like a map to guide you. The love he feels for his grandson is one we all strive to reach. The love he feels from his God is one people have missed, lost or constantly seek and you learn, from Rick’s experience that it wasn’t an easy path of awareness or acceptance. Read this. You’ll find yourself.

Jennifer Duggins founder of Bohemian Gypsy Girl, LLC, and author of Facing Giants and other works.

Rick’s story will start any reader down a path of healing, especially those who are fatherless, by helping them expose the lies in the mind and allowing them to see the truth. We have a fatherless world and so much pain stems from that problem. My prayer is that this book will add momentum to the movement rallying to help solve this problem. This book is well written and captured my attention right from the start. Well done, Rick! Thank you for your openness and transparency to help others find what you have found, even in the pain.

Ford Taylor Founder FSH Group/Transformational Leadership, Co-Author “The Hike” The Missing Link to Transformational leadership

As someone who in not an avid reader, I could not put this book down. I found myself laughing and crying and wanting to hug and salute Rick for the courage it took to live a painful story and now share it. This book is a powerfully vivid and reflective journey inviting the senses and emotions of the reader. It encapsulates suffering in its rawest form giving insight into an intense personal and painful reality of hurt, misunderstanding, hope, and healing.

Dr. Sandy Ingle, PhD    Clinical Psychologist and Counselor

COMING SOON!

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I’m on a mission to help people find Identity, Affirmation, and Clarity in a world that so carelessly strips it all away.

 

If Only I Had A Dad!

Finding Freedom From Fatherlessness!

Papa, how come I don’t have a dad in our family?

I tried to prepare for the day this question might be asked. I knew all the love and attention we gave him would not alleviate the emptiness he would feel inside. It’s a good question with perhaps only insufficient answers.

I did my best to explain families come in all shapes and sizes. I seemed to satisfy him, in the moment. The next day he said, Papa! When you grow up you can be my dad. All I could manage was; Thank you. I would love that.

My mind is so aware of my lifelong struggle for identity. My grandson is a candidate to live with many of the same calamities I experienced. My turbulent beginning and chaotic journey made me determined to do everything I could to provide a different life experience for him.

The story of my grandson and me might make you uncomfortable. Even squirm, a little, if you have never been loved by a father-figure. You might even think it’s not possible for such affection and commitment to pass between two souls. I assure you, you can be loved in the same manner. Our story is intended to show you how.

COMING SOON!

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Keep an eye out for ordering information.

 

 

Good to Know-Good to Go!

mary oliverWhat we do matters. Our thoughts, emotions, and actions come along with our knowledge. Caring about others, working toward positive outcomes, and creatively empowering the people around us adds beauty to our lives.

It’s so easy to get caught up in minutia. Details are important but are secondary to the larger mission. Our dream is in play. The purpose of our life pushes and pulls us toward excellence. Setbacks are invitations to clarify. We reassess strengths and weaknesses, assets and liabilities, risk and reward but we will not stop. Our hearts and heads collaborate to reach the goal against all odds. There’s enough inspiration to plow through the darkest day. Enough life-giving energy to manage expected and unexpected challenges.

We value our teams, tribes, and people. We keep things in check. The earth shattering invention, the roll-out of new sophisticated technology, or the novel idea will not be driven by greed or personal gain. We anticipate profits, we must have monetary increase, our projects simply have to succeed. But not at the cost or sacrifice of our relationships. People first is the operational motto. If we conquer the world and lose the ones we love what have we achieved.

We’re busy. What we’re doing is important. It’s good things we are pressing to accomplish. Long hours and hard work can be ever so taxing. Destiny beckons. The limelight shouts our name. We are compelled and driven to make the deal, secure the sale, and process the order. We prepare to make the presentation. We deliver like a boss. We feel it in our bellies. We nailed it. It didn’t work out. What went wrong. Disbelief sucker punches in the gut. We get another opportunity. It works out this time. Celebration and relief permeates the air we breathe. Ah, the sweet smell of success.

We leave the office, job site, or place of business and head home to the real reasons we try so relentlessly. We never quit because we know the people we care about are depending on us. It’s in our DNA to provide, nurture, and protect them. Delivering emotional support, intellectual stimulation, and a safe place for them to grow, learn, and prosper is priority number one. Even if you’re single you can stop by and hug your grocer (with permission of course) or swing by for take-out and compliment the crew. We can love what we do and we can love why we do it.

You are love. In relationships, business ventures, and casual acquaintances. Love is the foundation we stand on. In every role our dominant characteristic is love. We might fly high or sink low on any given day but if we love in all our ways we see the world as a friendly transcendent experience. Anyone can make ugly, be difficult, cause havoc and harm. But not us. The facts are on our side. If we give love we get love.

Love matters most. It’s good to know – and your good to go!