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The Power of Sufficiency!

March 20, 2018Rick Amitin 2 Comments

Compassion

I came running from the backyard when I heard the magical tune of the ice cream truck. I darted into the house to ask grandma for the money to buy an ice cream. I panicked when she said she didn’t have the nickel it cost. I paused, standing in place as my hopes melted.

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I was five or six years old on that warm summer day. I slowly walked outside as the truck drove past my house. We lived on a dead end street so I knew it had to come back past me. I stood at the edge where our sidewalk met the pavement. Pitiful as I could be, tears streaming down my face. The young man driving the truck evidently couldn’t take my distraught demeanor so he stopped and gave me an ice cream for free.

The next day I was playing away when I heard that same sound. I jumped off the tire swing leaped up on the porch and yanked on the screen door slamming it into the wall as it swung open. I ran into the house to find grandma. I didn’t have a good handle on economics. I didn’t understand that our finances hadn’t changed since yesterday. I gasped as the air completely departed my lungs.

Wait! I cried my way into an ice cream yesterday. Maybe I can do it again. I put on my sad sack formal wear and assumed my post. I watched in anticipation as the truck turned around at the end of our road. Here he comes…I got my beg on. He acted like he didn’t see me. I think he even stepped on the gas as he went by. I’ve never forgotten the feelings I experienced on both of those days.

We were poor and I hated everything it represented. I have so many memories of being left out because we couldn’t afford this or that. I think in my own naive way I vowed to overcome monetary depravity. I didn’t want to ever feel those feelings again.

A Backward Glance

I ventured out into the world unprepared to succeed. My father and three stepfathers did little to move my ball down the court. Leaving home at fifteen to escape the violence and hatred did little to increase my stature. Even though I left prematurely I didn’t get out before some significant damage was done.

I looked back only to remind myself to keep going. I wished things were different but, it didn’t take long to learn that wishful thinking wasn’t the mother of invention. I appreciated the free ice cream I got that day but I wanted to be able to pay for ice cream whenever I got the urge.

Steady As She Goes

When I got married and had a couple of kids my financial forecast was bleak at best. I wanted a family…the family I never had. I also wanted to give my kids a better life…a better childhood than I’d had. I didn’t have a very good plan or strategy to make a better life but, what I did have was the intention to do so.

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Shame is a terrible weight to carry and I was loaded with it. Before I knew what my issues were I added on layers of responsibilities. Life is full of good intentions that never get followed through on. I had the makings of a perfect storm.

I tried one thing after another. Seeking. Searching. Trying to make it all happen. Oftentimes my only fuel was the necessity of those depending on me. I simply had to keep going. There was so much I immediately improved. And, there were fierce repetitions from adolescence at work that I didn’t even know were there.

The refusal to give up eventually brought about opportunities. The kind of monumental moments that change your trajectory. Things began to work out that wasn’t connected to any well-planned scheme. They happened solely because I kept looking, pushing, believing I could make life worth living.

Never Give Up

Back in the 90’s I built a multi-million dollar insurance agency. The residual income should have lasted me for the rest of my life. For a while, it looked like I had set us up for good. Through some mergers and shifty corporate shenanigans, it evaporated overnight. Gone with a thirty-day notice.

I don’t like to be violated, who does? I don’t know how to warm up to rejection. What I do know is that disappointment is never unemployed. It’s almost like some people feel it’s required of them to do you wrong and do so blaming you for their unacceptable behavior. I’ve had the bitter experience of disappointing myself more deeply than anyone else has. It’s one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.

Image courtesy of Air Mobility Command

When you peer past the obvious there remains a subtle truth: If you made it once you can make it again! If you’ve yet to experience that one big break the only reason…the only reason you’re thinking about it is that it’s within you…within your reach.

In a world filled with corruption, polarization, and the hollowness of the world wide web we have a standing invitation to make things better for ourselves and those we come in contact with. The age of entitlement is half right. We are each entitled to our dreams and to what we can achieve. But, if we define success by what is given to us we can never be free. We cannot know what we are capable of and we will never know who we are.

I learned something about compassion the day that young man stopped and gave me an ice cream. I learned something even more important the very next day when he didn’t stop… when he didn’t even look my way, I learned the power of sufficiency!

What do you think?

Finding The Perfect In Chaos!

March 13, 2018Rick Amitin Leave a comment

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve looked into the face of confusion. While I have my share of things that have worked out I, also have my share of things that didn’t go as planned. The ebb and flow of life can be fiercely independent. It’s difficult to talk reality out of being the reality.

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When I suffered a setback and had to deal with hardship, I used to look for someone to blame. The idea of my best efforts not producing desirable results left me dazed and confused. How could my good intentions not be rewarded? Why don’t people see the virtue I see in myself? I had a perception problem. We all have a lens. What we see when we look through our lens is based on our interpretation of life events.

I remember when I first noticed that my vision was changing. I made an appointment with the eye doctor and discovered I needed glasses. I had mixed feelings about wearing spectacles. I worried as to whether I would look professional or studious. Or, would I look like a nerd? I was only in my thirties. I wrestled with the idea of ending up with thickening lenses as my conditioned worsened over time. The fact was I needed help seeing. Deal with it, Rick!

What a metaphor for life. Sometimes we all need a little help with our perception. I learned in my Behavioral Analyst Training that people fall into two predominant categories; we either see the world as friendly or unfriendly. And, we base much of our attitude on one of these notions. Either premise contributes heavily to how we exist and relate to the world.

I discovered that I could drive or draw people and things away or into my life depending on how I was seeing and interpreting the world around me. In my work with people, I have seen this principle perform with precision. Things don’t happen to us; they happen for us.

Image courtesy of Jon Wiley via flickr.com

A client who had married multiple times thought she was simply “bad in love.” The truth is much less mysterious. She was looking for someone to complete her. What she attracted were men who were looking for someone to complete them. We get out of life what we are in life. If we don’t like the fruit, we have to look at the root!

We will be a part the pollution or, part of the solution. When patterns emerge, there is only one place to find a remedy, inside ourselves! That’s not a bad gig. Just think about it. You’re readily accessible, very familiar, and worthy of transformation. We actually deserve a rich and rewarding life filled with good things and relationships.

I know it’s not always easy to forgive…especially ourselves. Letting go is a form of letting grow. While it would be nice to be able to erase moments of failure and disappointment it’s just not practical. What is possible is to learn and embrace the lesson.

Confusion can be a door opener or a door closer. Life is a delicate balance of tension with a yin and a yang. Can anything be more perfect than to experience it all? I think mastery evolves out of finding the perfect in the chaos.

What’s your strategy for moving forward?

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TV Show: “Rick on Life” http://www.tlbtv.com

Staying Inspired Is A Tricky Business!

February 5, 2018Rick Amitin Leave a comment

LEANING IN

You know you have a dream on your hands if you experience more than an occasional flirtation. And, your passion keeps tempting you with eye contact. When you are given to restless nights and, busy days filled with contemplations of fully expressing yourself you just might be pregnant with possibility. The discomfort of not delivering that thing you are carrying inside can make a person downright grouchy.

Image courtesy of Ferlinka Borzoi via flickr.com

Whether our dreams are big or small they are precious, to the dream holder. Dreams can be ever so fragile and should be handled with utmost care. It can be tortuous even trying to understand exactly what it is we want to bring forth let alone, explain it to someone else. I’ve discovered that it’s best not to deny how I feel about my embedded seeds of artistry. Allowing my passion to unfold has been a lifesaver for me.

Passion can evolve from childhood or come along later in life. But, passion has a way of demanding attention. While it can be ignored for brief periods of interlude, it’s unusual for deep desires to be silenced indefinitely. They work their way into our consciousness despite the inconvenience it can cause.

Discovering the very thing we are born to do, uniquely called to do is the longing of many hearts. We send ourselves into moments of anxiousness and trepidation when we turn away from the life source our passion provides. We don’t want to give up, … not really. We just get frustrated by what can seem like a never-ending battle to emerge in the light of success.

BANKABLE EMOTIONS

I’ve yet to meet the person who only deals with good feelings. Everyone I know runs the gamut of diverse emotions. The good, the bad, and the ugly make their presence known. I have settled on the notion that all feelings are nothing more than invitations. I think long and hard before I allow feelings a voice. Feelings and thoughts are how we roll.

It’s imperative to capture the feeling of what you want as though you have already obtained it. Thoughts and feelings are not inherently best friends. They must be trained to get along. I’ve witnessed the limitations of positive thinking when it stood alone. No matter how affirming my thoughts, I didn’t enjoy momentum until I addressed any negative feelings too. Because feeling incompetent, disconnected, and unworthy directly opposes the best thoughts.

Feelings are the gatekeeper to the law of attraction. Feelings draw thoughts. The real battle for our dreams takes place in our hearts. Thoughts by themselves can get us to the negotiating table but, to close the deal we will have to get our hearts to agree to it. Owning your heart… the seat of emotions is the result of getting the head and the heart working together. If our thoughts and our emotions aren’t harnessed into a single effort we will continue unfulfilled.

Image courtesy of grimeshome via flickr.com

DEFINING MOMENTS

“Everybody’s life is either a warning or an example. You’ve got to decide what you’re going to be and you have to draw a line in the sand.” ~ Tony Robbins

We often treat our failures as the conclusion to what could have been. This is just wrong. I find the perfect in chaos! Learning to embrace pain and pleasure, as pieces of the whole and not as separate experiences, gives me a sense of self-acceptance. “A rainbow is a meteorological phenomenon that is caused by reflection, refraction, and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky. It takes the form of a multicolored arc. Rainbows caused by sunlight always appear in the section of the sky directly opposite the sun.” ~Wikipedia. Rainbows come after a storm. Let your light shine!

Any great achievement comes with a degree of danger. Most significant accomplishments follow a season of intense commitment. Oftentimes the celebration is escorted by a troublesome return to normalcy. According to the Harvard Business Review, after Michael Jordan lead his country to an Olympic Gold Medal, winning his third NBA championship, and scoring more points than any other player in the league for a seventh consecutive season he retired stating, “I just needed to change.”

Jon Stewart expressed similar sentiments in an interview with NPR’s Terry Gross. After directing his first movie, Stewart made the following remark about returning to the daily routine of The Daily Show, “I don’t know that there will ever be anything that I will ever be as well suited for as this show.” “That being said, I think there are moments when you realize that that’s not enough anymore, or that maybe it’s time for some discomfort.” ~HBR, February 3, 2015

I think it’s reasonable to conclude that most people’s lives have a mix of warnings and examples in them. Obviously, we want to be more example than a warning. It’s the dominant arc that gets the final tally. Jordan returned to basketball, and I could not have been more pleased, to accomplish even more incredible feats. I’m not sure where Jon Stewart will reemerge, but here’s the thing to remember in your ups and downs, if you’re still here, you have more to do.

spark of inspiration by@notnixon on flickr

Image courtesy of @notnixon via flickr.com

INSPIRATION IS A HABIT

“Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.” ~Jack Canfield

One common denominator I have found among the many successful people I’ve studied is this, success is found in your daily routine. Another lesson I’ve learned the hard way is taking care of myself first. Many people struggle with this concept. We need a time of reflection, meditation, and contemplation that’s protected from intrusion. The morning works best for me because I want to start my day fully charged. It might be a different time for you but, by all means, give yourself a consistent time to align your passion with your activities.

It can be tricky but when we resolve to let the spark of inspiration mature into sustenance we wont go without the inspiration we need!

What do you think about inspiration?

This article first appeared in Read My Mind Magazine.

Where Greatness Resides!

January 17, 2018Rick Amitin Leave a comment

ELOCUTION

I’m intrigued by the way words are put together to convey ideas, sentiments, and deep emotions. I appreciate words, phrases, and quotes. I love to hear an angry person when they are in control of their vocabulary and verbally lay the ax to the root of bad ideas. I’m also excited to hear people who are equally adept at erecting the kind of noble word-lofts that even kings want to climb. And, I stand in awe of the celebratory individual with such a command of the English language that everyone wishes them to speak on their behalf.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

The only thing that gets my creative energy flowing more than hearing powerful speeches, verbal duels, and passion inducing vernacular is action. Yeah, imagine that? My attention span becomes shorter and shorter as I become less and less convinced of the speaker’s commitment to what they are saying. I’ve lived too long now to play patty-cake with the idealistic rhetoric of people who think misinformation, deception, and manipulation as art forms.

Our public landscape is changing faster than politically correct terminology. Who can possibly keep up… whatever do you mean? Words are rarely innocent anymore. They are often cosmetically engineered to mean something different than their origin. It’s like dating a plastic surgeon who takes her work home with her. I still dig it. I’m just at a loss sometimes, to know which word is least likely to incarcerate me in the land of sacred spaces. Is my aggression micro or macro? Where is my shrink when I need him/her?

It’s generally accepted that words play a marginalized role. Tone and body language trump mere syllables. Hate speech, nouns and pronouns dipped in insanity, and incendiary disquisitions are most likely to get primetime play. If you have strung together a few lines or a paragraph of hope-filled solutions you should expect to be indicted for inciting a calm.

CLARIFICATION

I love to converse. Share ideas. Make peace with the lexicon pipe. Are we still capable of reasoning together? About important issues? It does seem like neighborly conversations over metaphoric picket fences might be extinct. The silence of the lambs is disturbed by peace devouring foxes. Did you get your shot? Everyone must be introduced slowly and methodically to the impediments of the common sense virus.

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I look both ways but, I find myself running a lot of red lights on intolerance these days. I’m hoping for a resurgence of simplicity and wisdom. We’re now at a time when getting over an education is more challenging than not obtaining one. Who would have ever thought dropouts could actually be the more scholarly career choice? No, I’m not advocating ignorance. But, to not see most colleges have replaced education with indoctrination would be ignorant indeed!

Human beings by nature are problems solvers. It’s just that we have this habit of reinventing negative systemic attacks on our general well-being. Somewhere, deep inside each of us resides the capacity to knock it off. Is remedy to scary of a concept? How about reminding ourselves that healing is a virtuous form of revenge.

DEFINITION

I was incensed so early in life I thought anger was a part of my anatomy. C’mon! This hell-bent annihilation of diversified viewpoints is nothing short of ideological genocide. We need a renewed mind that understands liberty is impossible without restraint. Just because we can say it doesn’t mean it’s expedient that we do.

We are all going to fight for what we believe in. And, we should. But, it will serve us well to be mindful that a free-for-all lacks stability. Our self-justified speechification is eating away at the beauty of independence. The best affirmative action is personal responsibility. It’s liberty and justice for all! or not at all.

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

I don’t like a lot of things. But, wishing thinking produces nothing. Our country has an expanded mind…the genie is out of the bottle. We need to learn to play together before we are bewitched beyond repair. We need a “first, do no harm, approach.

Words founded us. Words define us. Words sustain us. The power of life and death are on our tongues. What we say, how we say it, and who we say it to matters. Our greatness resides in our willingness to improve!

What do you say?

The Secret of Change!

January 11, 2018Rick Amitin 4 Comments

We all know if we keep doing the things we are doing, the same way we are doing them, we remain as we are, have what we have, and commit ourselves to exploits only of the imaginary.

Those who have wrestled challenges into cooperation enjoy the benefits of tangible fruit. The deep satisfaction that comes from seeing ideas, hopes, and dreams take on reality can leave a person breathless and oxygenated at the same time. I find it easy to celebrate the successes of anyone that pours themselves into excellence. I know what it takes to face yourself, overcome obstacles, and refuse to settle. If you beat the odds, you’ll have me jumping for joy right along with you!

Image courtesy of wikimedia.org

Navigating the twists and turns of life without losing forward momentum is an admirable trait. I’ve witnessed those rare individuals who make it look easy but, closer scrutiny reveals it’s an illusion. They’re operating under a very different paradigm than the average fellow. While remarkable results usually include a strong work ethic, we shouldn’t overlook other principles.

What’s the secret? You ask. Let’s start by backing up a little. Any honest self-reflection will include taking inventory, in reality. “You can do anything you set your mind to!” We’ve all heard this, felt the twinge of excitement brought on by the very suggestion. But, is it true? I find there are elements, common dynamics, and systematic traits with people that reach the highest levels. It does, in fact, take a resolute mind. However, there is more to the story than meets the casual eye.

Dr. Liza Siegel, the psychologist for the hit reality shows “The Apprentice” and “Survivor,” has had a front-row seat to what it takes to succeed, and what to do when at first you don’t succeed. In her book Suite Success, Dr. Siegel lays out six essential psychological characteristics of successful people. They are Optimism, Creativity, Resilience, Self-Control, Emotional Awareness, and Sociability. You may want to read all about these categories in her book Suite Success: The Psychologist from “The Apprentice’ Reveals What It Takes to Excel – in the Boardroom and in Life.” (Available on Amazon)

Garret Kramer, the noted sports Psychologist, and Coach have recently caught my attention. In his latest book “The Path of No Resistance” Garret enunciates that its insight, and not intellect that fuels our ability to achieve. I had to dig into Garrett’s train of thought to understand his “inside-out” model. Being a subscriber to self-help principles, it took some careful consideration before I could admit that many of the strategies I adhere to were not working. I’m thankful to have discovered this insight.

I listened to a Ted Talk by Richard St. John. Richard spent ten years interviewing over five hundred successful people and then analyzed the data resulting in identifiable characteristics. In his book 8 To Be Great: The 8-Traits That Lead to Great Success, he lists them for us: Passion for what you do. Work hard and have fun. Focus on one thing – not everything. Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Consistently coming up with new ideas. Constantly improve. Provide value to others. Persist through failure.

An article I read by, Ciara Conlon, on lifehack.org offered one of the more comical takes on the attributes of highly successful people. They are early risers. The “Mind over Mattress” reference she makes can’t go unacknowledged. Getting up just one hour earlier each day gains 15 days a year. I have always been an early riser. For me, it has been effortless. I love the fewer distractions during the wee hours. I do understand the challenge this poses for anyone clamoring for a few more minutes of pillow time.

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“If you do not change your direction, you may end up where you are going.” ~Lao Tzu.

Before climbing every mountain, I passed through the valley below. These highs and lows have been the perpetual classrooms of my education. Forming the experiences of my life. I’ve been able to tabulate a few absolutes throughout my six decades of mounting the impossible, facing my fears, and relishing in moments of jubilation. My trials, errors, and awakening may not be everyone else’s normal… it certainly is mine.

As I continue to discover life’s deeper meaning and caress understanding, I live more and more intentional. If I had to step through the many concepts of success principles and offer only one as a gift to others my tip, from personal experience would be this, find the “why” of your life. Almost everyone can explain what they do, write, sing, sew, etc. Others can even talk about how they do things. But, knowing why you do what you do is what separates distinction from mediocrity.

Why are you here? Simon Sinek, (Ted Talk) uses what he calls the golden circle to explain the concept of why. He asks, what’s your cause, your belief, your purpose? Why do you get out of bed in the morning and, why should anyone care? I can tell you it’s not accolades, fame, or even profits. Most people start with what, move to how, and maybe get to why illustrates the “outside in” predominance.

Find your why on braintraining tools.org

Image courtesy of braintrainingtools.org

We all deserve to find our place in the universe, to offer our unique contribution to serving others, and create the world of our dreams. Recognizing the temptation to dally in external factors and strategies affords us the opportunity to cancel distractions. Authenticity, success, and contentment is an inside job. Reversing the trend of utilizing the least essentials first will put us on the right track.

The secret of change is discovering your why!

Rick on Life TV Show. http://www.tlbtv.com/Rick-On-Life

This article originally appeared in Read My Mind Magazine.

The Vision Trip!

December 8, 2017Rick Amitin Leave a comment

“If I paint a wild horse, you might not see the horse… but surely you will see the wildness!” ~ Pablo Picasso

DESIRE

Eyes, please open. I really want to see. So many times I just haven’t been able to see clearly. With invisible blinders clarity resists. The craving for understanding growls like an unsatisfied tapeworm pushing me to keep believing in what is not yet revealed. How do we even know intuition will produce something tangible?

Image courtesy of Torbakhopper via flickr.com

Believing has the companionship of reality or delusion. When hope begins to materialize it’s akin to a freshly prescribed pair of glasses. Antiquated thought restrictions loosen their grip. Liberty announces it’s presence. It’s the opposite of receiving a new package in the mail. It turns out that what we want is inside of us. And, has been all along.

QUESTIONS

I’ve heard it said many times; “the only dumb question is the one you don’t ask.” I have sat through Q & A sessions where that theory could easily be challenged. Leading questions. Open-ended questions. Closed-ended questions. Popular questions. Unlikely questions. Reflective and hypothetical questions, Questions you wished you hadn’t asked and, questions you wished you had.

Inquiring minds are aroused, negatively and positively at the introduction of both familiar and unfamiliar ideas. The perceived answers we cling to are only as good as the questions we ask. Experience, human interactions, and various forms of language often offer opportunities to form more questions.

Image courtesy of ForbesOste via flickr.com

Thoughts structure the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual house we live in. To add on to our dwelling science/psychology explains, in order to change we must create new memories inside old ones. I discovered a principle that changed the trajectory of my life. It’s this, new answers require new questions. Ask the same question and you are likely to get the same answer.

RESISTANCE

The technical term for the fear of change is Metathesiophobia. It’s a real thing. And, it is common enough to be recognized as a conditioning of vast segments of populations, cultures, and societies. Fear immobilizes us from taking any steps forward. Convincing us that it’s protecting us and providing security wherever we happen to be.

The admission that we are looking for something beyond what we are currently functioning in, ought to serve as an invitation, to be more open to greater understanding. Avoiding facing the tougher, more thought out, and demanding questions locks the door to growth. We feel trapped.

The temptation to double down where we are is difficult to resist. Changing our belief system, methods of operating, and familiar habits simply to say, we have changed, without the benefit of standing on higher ground, can be futile. Fear can reinvent itself without changing its core.

FREEDOM

Trending philosophies can harness a collective momentum that seems liberating until the net closes. Leaving us ensnared in an intricate woven tapestry that uses us for decorations, memorializing what could have been. Too many things appear virtuous until their deficits are unmasked.

Progress is a funny thing. Forward for some… backward for others. Is right and wrong really that controversial? While I am fascinated with how people come to opposite conclusions when considering the same information I am unwilling to switch my position until I can determine the end result of doing so.

Image courtesy of J Sonder via flickr.com

In an ever-changing world where mixed messages remain constant, I think it’s important to find resolve. Somethings are very knowable. For instance, what determines the value of anger is whether it’s attached to hurt or healing. We can ascertain the message of pain by whether or not we turn it into passivity or purpose. Our intention is decided by our altruistic or egoistic contributions.

Everybody is on a vision trip!

What do you see on your trip?