Forgiveness is a Life Hack for Business!

Image result for conflict resolution

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We’ve seen it before. Maybe more than we care to admit. People not getting along. The down time can be costly. It might not have anything to do with workplace mission, yet, the business is picking up the tab. If you’re responsible for team performance it helps to be in tune with the what is circulating.

What to do when people are withdrawn due to personal or professional relationships.

1. Stay aware of changes in normal behavior. When the ordinary has left the building it’s wise to assess the interpersonal barometer. If it’s one person it could be something not related to the workplace. If more than one person seems out of kilter it might be an inter-personnel issue.

2. If you haven’t built an open rapport where people feel safe to speak openly you might be further challenged to find an easy resolve. Managers benefit when relationships are established where fear has been eliminated. People respond to wise sensitivity. When people are confident and secure conflict resolution is natural.

3. Effective communication remains a necessity.  When people are satisfied that they are heard, and what they have to say matters, they are open to fixing issues. When they are dominated they will often shutdown and an undercurrent of distance prevails.

4. Conflict resolution is best put in place proactively. Disappointment is inevitable, But when people understand the method for clearing the air it creates buy in. Blameless resolution offers involved party’s a guiltless solution.

5. Decide on the elements of an apology before it is required. Misunderstanding is often the culprit. Holding everyone to high standards of accountability allows for peaceful transitions back to teamwork. Most people want to do a good job and will avoid being called out as the problem.

6. Caring is authentic. Anything less will be interpreted as self-serving. Organizations will not rise above its leadership. New business models espouse a people first paradigm. When team members know that they are important, not just for what they can do, but as a whole person they will work to preserve a healthy workplace.

When business functions with a clear mission, clear guidelines, and clear interests in its team great things are accomplished.  When you care more about the performer than the performance you’re not likely to be dissatisfied with your bottom-line.

The more you put into people the more you get out of them.



Is Your Flight Overbooked?


According to the Air Traffic Controllers Association, 87,000 flights crisscross the United States, every day. With a population of over 300 million people there are countless dreams and aspirations filling our air space. Gifts and talents, robed in passion, attempt to take-off and land successfully every minute of the day. Over-booking is more common than the average person notices.


Image courtesy of Janine Forder via LinkedIn

Over half a million people were voluntarily or involuntarily denied boarding a scheduled commercial flight, in 2015. (Bureau of Transportation Statistics) If there was a way to actually see, how many people had their dreams grounded, we could all share in the collective disappointment. It’s empowering indeed to be able to order discouragement off your plane.

It’s legal for Airlines to overbook flights for the sole purpose of insuring their success. They need us but, aren’t afraid to abuse us, when it serves them. We can fill our plane with too much and too many. We can’t do everything; we aren’t meant too. It’s all to common to spread ourselves so thin that we aren’t proficient at anything. Many of us are too busy to be successful. Talk about turbulence! Rising above the clouds is about being able to do more of what you want and less of what you don’t.

Some things are not within our control. Many things are. Sometimes we have excess baggage. We can carry it with us, if we are willing, to pay the high rate for the privilege. If we will take the time to analyze, value verses cost, we can streamline our travel experience. Things like self-doubt, fear, and intimidation are unnecessary items. Removing them from our luggage makes for a more pleasurable flight.

Flight Path

The unexpected can happen, anytime. Careful planning can help minimize negative effects or manage jubilation. If what we don’t want shows up, it can throw us into chaos. Even getting what we hope for, can catch us off guard, and cause our plane to shake, rattle, and roll.


Image courtesy of pixabay

Prioritizing requires honesty and  sound decision-making. Keeping goals out in front eases inner conflicts. The new trend is to manage tasks instead of time. We should protect ourselves from the illusion, that all activity is productive. We can work tirelessly without getting the results we’re looking for. Doing things that lose sight of our mission is a trap to be avoided. Most people relax once takeoff is accomplished. We mustn’t forget the importance of landing. Success never just happens.

Our daily routine must include an inspection of our flight controls. If we hope to get air-born and safely touch down in our deepest aspirations, it’s a good idea to insure everything is working properly. Repairs are wisely done on the ground. Lots of effort is used up on things that aren’t getting us any closer to accomplishing our dreams. Many things that are distasteful or unpleasant, must be attended to, if we hope to see progress.


I used to travel often. Back when flight crews were fun and the skies were friendly. More often than not, nowadays, your treated like a cold-hearted obligation or even an inconvenience. How dare you board our plane with any expectation of quality care! Too many service providers have forgotten, or decided against, great service. I appreciate quality and attention to detail. Something I encourage is a customer first mentality.

hangglider by pampy96 on commons.wikimedia

Image courtesy of pampy96 via commons.wikimedia

Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you! Then treat others the same way. Distance yourself from haters and dissenters. You are within your rights to bump them from your flight. Your success might depend on your willingness to exercise courage. One reason there are so many flights is because everyone is not going to the same place.

Success will forever be a foreign country to some. Once you decide where you are going you can work on your passport. Since we define success for ourselves we educate accordingly. Jack Canfield and many other experts travelers, offer this frequent flyer tip; “success is found in your daily routine.”

To avoid getting bumped from life, pick up a copy of my book:



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The Value Of Commenting On A Blog.

This is a helpful blog post from my friend, Joanne, for those of you who want to be supportive. A little goes a long way!



Something many people don’t understand is the value of leaving a comment on a blog.

It’s easy to read a post and move on, and even easier to like a blog post without reading it.

But stop and think for a moment. How much more valuable to the writer, and other readers, if you actually bothered to respond. Isn’t that what you’d hope for when writing your next blog post? Nobody wants to invest time in writing something that people are just going to skim over.

Not only that, but you will gain more from the post and from the interaction with others than you realise.

You might gain new ideas or perspectives, or you might just end up feeling a little better about life.

It doesn’t have to be a long or complicated post. Even just saying “thank you” or “I liked this!” does the trick.

However, commenting on a blog…

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Will You Merry Me?

  “Tell me, what is it you plan do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver, in her poem, The Summer Day.


was maybe five or six when Mr Bernie, from down the street asked me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I clearly remember the encounter. I also remember my, caught off guard response; I don’t know! His next statement has stayed with me ever since. “If you will help people you will be a great man.”

I have thought about this exchange many times throughout my life. It was as though something got embedded in me that day. I have wanted to help people for as far back as I can recall. Something that wasn’t made clear that day, was the root cause, of my inclinations to be useful. I regret the omission.

I’ve observed I’m most satisfied when I’m helping others. But, I’ve also realized, the desire to help others is rooted in a deep desire to help ourselves. Standing in the candy aisle, at the corner store, I was waging war in my mind. After a few minutes I noticed a lady had been standing there for as long as I had. Our eyes met, we smiled at each other, and she offered; there are too many choices.

My dilemma was not what to select, it was to not select at all. I’m more than prone to the sweeter things in life. Literally and figuratively. I heard my comrade mumble, what do I want? as I walked away. I knew what I wanted. It isn’t on the self, it’s in my heart. I want to say no when it’s in my best interest. My best self is to not give in to the very thing I will hate immediately.

Life is a sequence of choices made strong, or weakened, by every decision. We often forfeit the opportunity to entertain major life events because we didn’t practice good judgement when small everyday challenges presented themselves. It turns out that greatness is in the little things. We are always practicing to stay where we are or to move on. 

Life is fierce and fragile. Extreme and apathetic. We are challenged to see the world as friendly or unfriendly. Inviting or threatening. Peace of mind and sustainable joy reside in balance and moderation. Maintaining mindfulness about what we really want, what we value the most, is the trick to living on purpose.


Passion seeks expression but has no compass. Without instruction it can go in any direction. I walked away from the candy that day, empty-handed, but in control of my destiny. Sugar is not always a friend in spite of its comforting qualities. In order to optimize my intention to help others I need to protect my heart.

This internal dialogue is more familiar than I would like. My habits fight to keep things the way they have always been while my intuition says there’s a better way to live. Change is threatening. Distractions can be overwhelming. Silencing my tendencies comes down to a clear and present choice; Do I want what I have more than I want what I don’t? To align with my authentic self I have to give up the life I have for the life I want.

In Hamlet, Polonius instructed his son Laertes with; “This above all: to thine own self be true.” Much debate centers around meaning and interpretation and certainly around application in modern-day social experiments. But one thing that seems beyond reproach is the virtue of authenticity. 

Indecision is commitment. Loyalty to the undefined is no less viral. Direction, or lack of direction, from the heart can be equally potent. I’ve always been driven even when I was unsure of where I was going.  


As I listened to the well-known speaker, lay out his steps to success, my ears where perky and my interest was aroused. Like the many other self-help and empowering events I’ve attended my appetite for completeness could be heard growling in the pit of my stomach. I was forever hungry and ready to eat because I believed something was missing and I desperately wanted to find it.

We are all vulnerable to some degree. Willing to believe this is the person or the thing we long for. I was ripe for deception and manipulation based completely on my perceptions of myself and those around me. What works for someone else might not be the magic carpet-ride we sign-up for. 

Every sales pitch I’ve ever heard, no matter what the product or system, includes the testimony of humble beginnings and adversities overcome. I’m always moved by personal triumph. I love to see underdogs make it. The thing I’ve had to isolate is my own story. If I want to be someone else I should imitate; If I want to be me I should initiate. Learning from someone is quite different from learning to be that person.


look for patterns and habits that emerge within my decision-making processes. The thing that has climbed to the top of my priorities is whether or not the value is strong enough for my personal pledge of allegiance. When the honeymoon is over will I have the passion to finish what I started or the intestinal fortitude to call it a day?

Change is available as an instant option but is rarely chosen. We aren’t customarily ready for the new feeling. Good feelings are the things that propels us onward. Feeling is the dominant acquisition. We are willing to do more of what gives us the feelings we like.

I’ve come to the proverbial crossroads many times. I have habitually continued in things that didn’t allow for the greater good. On those occasions when I chose wisely, finding the courage to walk away from dysfunction and dissatisfaction, I have discovered fulfillment, joy, and peace of mind. 

We can’t expect a sweet-tooth to willingly disappear in the name of good health. We can’t blame too many choices for chaining our wings to the ground. Invitations to friendship, partnership, or opportunity are flirtations that should be courted for a while. I’ve learned to ask an important question before I enter into a personal or professional union; will you merry me?

I’m willing to work hard, but, the merry-age has to be greater than the adversity!

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Read My Mind!

Every now and then it’s good to hear something positive, inspirational, and empowering to offset the barrage of negativity heaped on our tender little heads.

I’ve discovered a great way to upset the proverbial apple cart, of status quo manipulation, is to find something uplifting to inject into my bloodstream. Resulting in the release of incredible amounts of dopamine and causing concern among the haters. I can’t help but get a kick out of the shock I see on the faces of warmongers who think peace, joy, and love are dirty words.

I’ve made friends with a group of people who have the habit of doing good and work to make the world a better place. They use their gifts and invest their talents to bring smiles and warmth to people and places that desperately need it. They comprise a growing community of International Personalities, joined by the common cause of supporting the hopes and dreams of each other, and of those who connect with the group.

There have been times when I realized I missed out on the beginning of something big. I’ve never gotten used to that horrible feeling, of hearing about the party, just as it was ending. Whether you are an author, blogger, writer, poet, lyricist/musician or a hungry reader I encourage you to give yourself this dose of feel good. 

While our mission includes education of the arts, and entertainment for the hearts, I’m certain we are offering something worthy of your time. We are sponsoring contests in a variety of playing fields, informing on things to know, and sharing life in a way that invites others to live large. And best of all it’s,  FREE! Sign up with your email address and your inbox will thank you with a happy face.

I’m proud to be associated with such a noble endeavor. It’s an honor to be a contributor to this virtuous cause. This online magazine is certain to become a must read for anyone looking to strengthen themselves with the strength of others. The First Edition of Read My Mind is coming on April 4th. Don’t miss it!

You deserve a rich, rewarding, and abundant life!




Don’t Leave Home Without Them!

Preparing for the good life?

The three must-haves;  Affirmation, Identity, A Sense of Worthiness

Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of DualD Flip Flop

By dualdflipflip on flickr


Emotional support is necessary to grow organically. It shapes the way we see ourselves and initiates our world view. What gets embedded in our formative years will be present, for many years to come, if not our entire lives. 

Our inherent value is established or disrupted in the process of affirmation. Hyperinflation can lead to an unhealthy attitude of entitlement. The absence of affirmation can lead to a victim mentality. Words and, more importantly, feelings stay with us.

We emerge thinking the world is friendly or unfriendly. We move forward with trusting or distrusting perceptions. Foundations of love or fear tend to dominate our private landscapes. Intuition can be replaced with suspicion. Anger can turn into self-sabotage.

Proper affirmation settles our right to be here, sets up a purposeful life, and qualifies us to handle the inevitable ups and downs of living. Good decision-making is evidence of how soundly we are affirmed. Where we are in our lives can be traced to the quality of our affirmation.


Adolescence is a nesting ground. A time for discovering our gifts, talents, and calling. A time when personality declares itself. Traits like sociability and irritability become apparent. We display tendencies toward leadership and the spotlight or express desire for less attention and notoriety.

We navigate body changes, peer pressure, and endure exploration en route to finding ourselves. We seek acceptance and respect. We crave to be seen and heard. We learn about betrayal and rejection. We develop methods for obtaining approval and praise.

Leaving the nest should be less about self-discovery and more about self-expression. Every year millions of people spend millions of dollars in the quest for identity. The void created by this missing piece is the culprit for much dysfunction. There is simply no replacement for the platform of identity. 

Sense of Worthiness

Worthiness makes all things possible. I doubt that anything can define worthiness better than self-respect. Much disappointment comes from waiting for other people to give us what we are unwilling to give ourselves. There’s a well used saying; “you don’t get what you want – you get what you are.” Knowing why things happen is eye-opening.

euphoria by h.koppdelaney on flickr

By h.Koppdelaney on flickr

Maturity is the result of nurturing potential. When our importance is communicated we’re able to gain independence. We flourish when our expectations aren’t embattled in self-doubt. Nothing hinders accomplishment like feelings and thoughts of being undeserving. Worthiness is not ego driven. In fact, it’s the opposite. Worthiness doesn’t have to force anything – it’s a force of nature!   

We shove off on the journey of life with expectations rooted in our psyche. We are either committed to balance or we’re bent toward extreme. We are grounded in the concept of giving and receiving, holistically, or we struggle for position. Acceptance is the only proof worthiness requires.

Parenting Our Adult Selves

In a perfect world nothing would go wrong. Every experience would be virtuous. Every choice would be noteworthy. Anything bad would be excluded. But, all relationships are wrapped in humanity. From parents to significant others to bosses and our own children we deal with imperfection. Understanding misunderstandings is in our job descriptions.

Excuses defy reason. Blaming others is the practice of avoiding personal responsibility. A loyalty to what went wrong. Reasons offer the understanding needed for change. I had a horrible beginning, a lot of people do. Many of my decisions stayed true to my start in life. Realizing I don’t need to change the events, or the players in my past, freed me to move toward the life I want.

There’s no substitute for clarity. Affirmation, identity, and a sense of worthiness will clear the debris from reality. Opening up opportunities for progress. These things are possible at any age and any stage. We deserve a rich, rewarding, and fulfilling life. 

Empower yourself. Pick up a copy of my book: Available on Amazon  



The Secret of Creative Competition!

AWARENESS                                                                                                                                                       I was born with it. I’ve lived with it. I’ve dreamed about it. I’ve nurtured it. I’ve left it sitting idle. I’ve picked it up again. I know it will never leave me alone. In spite of moments of frustration, if it disappeared, I’d be lost. It’s the thing I’m meant to do.

outoffocus Harry Pointer en.wikipedia

Image via, courtesy of Harry Pointer

It can be overwhelming. How do I get this thing out of me. How do I make it live in the real world. I’ve trained. I’ve learned. I’ve worked hard at my craft. I’ve tried to focus on the things that are supposed to get me where I want to be. One set back after another has caused me to doubt myself. My gift. My purpose. I’ve walked away. I’ve come back to it. Like a revolving door I’ve gone round and round. I’ve danced with it. I’ve ignored it. I’ve held on to it for dear life. I can’t let go because it is me. It’s who I am.

Comparing ourselves thwarts individuality. We have common destinations – we do not have common journeys. Being exactly like someone else could only result in the loss of uniqueness. The distinction we are born with isn’t meant to turn us into plebs. Our struggle is more about how we are pursuing than what we are pursuing.

Broken Systems                                                                                                                                                 Magic happens when someone emerges from the masses. The declaration is undeniable, the message is clear, I’ve found myself and this is who I am. While imitation might be the best form of flattery, we can miss the point. Personal empowerment isn’t to follow in the steps of someone else. It’s to observe how they stopped following in the steps of others.

Divine intention is embedded in each of us. When we sacrifice the significance within we submit to being wrapped in the heap of those who never break from the doldrums. To find the sum of who we are we need the right equation. It’s not the stars on stage that we should count, it’s the stars in the sky.


Image via, courtesy of George Hotelling

Human aspirations are often cloaked in designer rhetoric that stunts our own growth. Following dictates of idolizing is a good way to render our lives idle, immobile, and unfulfilled.

Celebrating others is required for personal momentum. If it becomes more than appreciation we may be forfeiting our creative genius. The very thing that is fighting to be set free.

ASSESSING CORRECTLY                                           New research points out that the pursuit of happiness has become a burden for many. Causing stress, which defeats the reason for searching for it, in the first place. Trying to be someone or something you’re not is certain to hold bliss at bay. Defining meaning is personal.                           

insanity Connor McKee commons wikimedia

Image via courtesy of Connor McKee

There’s consensus for finding success in daily ritual. The desire to achieve greatness is often bewitched by ignoring small and consistent actions. Discipline, as it turns out, is not profane.

Affirmation, clarity, and identity doesn’t come after accomplishment – they come before it. We aren’t waiting for the world to recognize us, the world is waiting for us to recognize ourselves. Our routine speaks to how we see ourselves.



We all begin with something to complete before we are finished. Competition is the single greatest threat to completing our assignment. When I heard Jack Canfield, of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame, share that he was turned down 144 times before he obtained a publisher, I understood something. When you know what you are supposed to do you do it until you can’t be ignored. With over 500 million copies in print worldwide,  Jack didn’t see competition, he saw completion.

makeyourmark supermom_4110

Image courtesy of pixabay via supermom_4110

The Breakaway’s, those that rise to the top, don’t see a field of competition; they see a field of completion. External competition is imaginary. It’s an illusion. A distraction. Competition feeds the ego, dabbles in deception, and pollutes our best virtues. You can prevent the very thing that’s trying to find you. Completion is about peeling back the layers until all self defeat is gone.

The secret to creative competition is to know, deep in your soul, your only competition is inside you!