The Way to the Greater Thing!

twoeyes bykyo-kun 1997 deviantart

by kyo-kun 1997 at deviantart

Deep inside, where only two sets of eyes can see it, lies the dream yet to emerge. It’s a recent spark for some. For others, it’s the longest fuse known to man. It sits there fizzling like a firecracker waiting to explode. We wouldn’t have the inclination if it wasn’t possible. What do I have to do, to see this thing live, outside my body?

PAIN OR PLEASURE!

We learn from two paradigms. Pain or pleasure. One says, this is the way to do it. It screams, do more of it. The other says, this will never work. And bellows, stop doing what you’re doing. What moves us to act one way or another?

PERCEPTION AND ATTITUDE!

Desire is neither good or bad until I express it. My interpretation of life events encourages behavior. If I believe in a great conspiracy, to thwart my best efforts, I remain locked in immobility. Waiting for some external force to secure my release. Good luck with that.

If I see obstacles I can address them with strategy. If what I want, is beyond what’s in front of me, action is required. Move it. Go through it. Go around it. By all means necessary-get there. You’re smart enough, talented enough, and have what it takes to wrestle opposition into cooperation. You either want it or you don’t. Be honest.

Comparing myself to others is an efficient way to ignore my uniqueness. Find people who are where you want to be. Interrogate them to death. DO NOT DUPLICATE THEM! Common denominators present in every successful person is a great foundation. If I imitate, I will be a terrible them, and a lousy me. Principles have to be retro-fitted to your own skill set. Not compromised. Adapted. The dream is you. For you. And about you. If you let your dream die, you and the entire world will be denied the benefits of why you are alive on the planet.

THE WHY AND THE WHAT!

I always ask myself, why did this happen? I’ve come to realize, the answer is irrevocably the same, for every question. To wake me up. If I don’t pay attention I can end up paying a body shop, a traffic ticket, a doctor, or a divorce lawyer. Maybe I need to wake up to the good things in my life. Things I’ve been ignoring. Wake up means, it’s time to get up, and go up! No one is created to be a bottom feeder living a discounted life. 

 When I started selling health insurance I had a routine. After every appointment, whether I closed the sale or not, I asked myself the same question. Why? Why did I close that sale or why didn’t I close that sale. I wrote everything in a journal. I kept what worked and got rid of what didn’t. I ending up building an agency with 83 commission only agents. Doing more than 5 million dollars a year in new business.

Success and failure isn’t about luck. Both are the result of intention. I never deliberately intended to fail. However, I had to learn a hard lesson. Without an intention to succeed failure is what you get. I can trace every gain or lose to my thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and actions. An unbiased analysis shows how I, set myself up, every time.

harpin mountain .en.wikipedia

c/o en.wikipedia.org

I don’t believe in a strait line to the top. Some people do get there faster than others. But I don’t allow myself to begrudge successful people. Many of them have more failures than successes. I know success is the result of never giving up. They had to do the hard work of navigating their shortcomings and honing their strengths. They learned the power of leveraging. Sustainability happens when the desire to give is equal to or greater than the desire to get. What I do is not as important as why I do it.

Now matter what happens, the more important question is, what do I do next? Whether I’m trying to get on top or stay on top, after every win or loss I ask myself, what now? Whether you crashed and burned or landed on the moon you want to know why. You want to know what to do next. The question is relevant to arriving in my dream.

I was born because of intention. I have an intention for my life. We are all the same in that regard. Life is about discovering what that intention is. The greater thing is connected to mastery. Wishful thinking doesn’t give life. It’s a destructive distraction. A willingness to become proficient, at whatever beckons at your heart, is one of those known secrets everybody wants to avoid talking about. Show yourself how serious you are and the universe will help you out. You are meant to win. Don’t let your circumstances talk you out of it.

The method of Exchange!

cashier by commons.wikipedia.org

c/o commons.wikipedia.org

What do you need to learn? Do you have clarity? Do you need systems? Are you accountable to someone? Do you have a team? Find mentors, classes, online tutorials. Get plugged in to groups that share your aspirations. Live in the real world. Synthetic virtual friendships can fail to deliver adequate support. Volunteer in places that do what you are passionate about.

Invest in yourself and other will too. Don’t show up expecting to get for free what you intend to charge for. Pay for your dream and it will pay you back. Not having money is no excuse. Barter. Trade. Do whatever it takes. People want to help. Ask. Seek. Knock. You can do what you are meant for.

Refuse to be denied! That’s the way to the greater thing. 

 

 

Who do you THINK you are?

The search for meaning is universal. Astrology, philosophy, theology, and many other avenues are readily available for exploration. Finding yourself can be a lifelong occupation. Discovering who you are before you expire is admirable. But, if you don’t have enough time left to build a life on what you learn, what’s the point?

Don’t give up – get focused!

epidemic en.wikipedia.org

c/o en.wikipedia.org

A number of years ago (no need to get specific here) it was very popular to ask people, what’s your sign? When it comes to romance, the notion that the stars could align to provide a soulmate, is intoxicating. Wait a minute. In 2011 major news outlets reported that the Earth’s rotation changed the zodiac signs. Does that mean I’m not who I think I am? Is there an impending identity crisis being thrust upon mankind? No worries, mate. You can’t release an epidemic on an already infected population.

Cultural trends have a shelf life. A fad alters things in the moment. Things like clothing styles and music tastes change. Often. Even the arts have to remain fluid to hold our interest. For something to last, it has to extend from our desires, that don’t change. You can be insanely popular today and a distant memory tomorrow. I think what comes and goes reflects our willingness for distractions. What endures reveals what’s important to us.

When Mark Zukerberg launched “The facebook” in 2004 he tapped into our abiding passion for connection. From zero, to over one and a half billion users, Facebook continues to grow. As with anything this large it points-out strengths and weaknesses. It show-cases what’s real and what’s not. Bringing out the best and worst in it’s subscribers. It does provide an opportunity, for people to declare, who they think they are.

horseandcar by lowrider-girl

by Lowrider-girl

From a single horse drawn carriage to a 280 horse-powered car, we’ve advanced our inclinations, to go places. In just a few hours in a plane we can cross the country. A few more hours and we can travel the globe. The potential of human beings is experienced with every achievement. From building massive cruise ships, to landing on the moon, our capabilities find expression. These things tell us what we can do – not who we are!

Taking notice of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, it’s clear, we are all just one idea away from the next big thing. We can record a hit song. Write a best seller. Paint a masterpiece. Develop new technologies. Make millions of dollars. But, who are we? With all of our advancements the world stays it’s course of disrupted harmony. Lacking in peace, we carry the ills of our shared community. What we do isn’t as important as why we do it.

awake by johnhain

by johnhain

I wouldn’t want to be in a world where I couldn’t be touched by the talents of fellow sojourners. I have so many moments to reflect on when my heart was lifted by another human being. Celebrating life is grand. When I think about the insurmountable suffering I have neighboring my delight, it gives me pause. If I let it become depressing I won’t have a response. But if it awakens me I will find a place of impact. If I become desensitized-I become cynical.

My life review includes disappointments. My own mostly. I’ve also experienced sponsors of terror. Willing contributors to my anxiety. How people see themselves dictate relationships. In a fast moving world, it can be tough, to find a place to rest. Providing the ability to redefine priorities.

I have accomplishments. I want more. I’ve figured out if I only want to achieve heights, for self-aggrandizement, it leaves fulfillment wanting. My greatest times of satisfaction come when I’m being to someone else, what they cannot be to themselves, in that moment. My best thrills haven’t come from a stage of applause. Which can disappear in a nanosecond. No. It’s been from the life-changing look in the eyes of the thankful. Who didn’t have the words to express that defining moment in their life. When I supplied a hug. A listening ear. A meal. Encouragement. A pair of shoes for a little boy. Sharing tears without judgement.  Who knows? what it means to them! The effect it has on me is priceless.

How many of us laughed hysterically at Bill Engvall’s, Here’s your sign? I won’t expound on the jokes themselves. They’re easily found online. But the premise fits my subject. Are there signs available to help find one’s self? Your talent may not be your gatekeeper. What makes you tick? (the thing or things that get you excited) What ticks you off? (the thing or things that make you hopping mad) These are signs to who you are. Read them and respond from the heart. Feeling the way you do offers an introduction to your destiny. Solving problems, for ourselves and for others, leads to significance.

mahatma_gandhi_by_sheepdog319-d9j43na

by sheepdog319

Perhaps Gandhi said it best; “Be the change you want to see in the world.” 

With all the talent running loose it hasn’t eliminated chaos. Relieved our pain. Or made us better. A personal definition of success is what instructs the individual. What I think, commands my energy. I question any stage that doesn’t lift its audience.

I ask myself;  Who do you THINK you are?

 

 

 

Adventures in Marty! 5

Leelee says, I’m going to grill you a steak and make a tossed salad. Do you want a vegetable? No, says Alex. But do we have any baked beans? She replies, I think so, as she gets up to look. He continues with more details of his day. I want to hear all about it, Alex. Give me a minute to start the grill. He keeps talking even when she goes outside. He’s more keyed-up than he realizes.

table for two by pixabay

by pixabay

She sets the table. Throws the salad together and checks on the steaks. Come to the table, Alex. He hasn’t stopped talking. In between his sentences she calculates how to talk about her day. Sliding his steak in front of him he proclaims, that looks great, Honey. I’m starving. As Leelee sits down, he continues his discourse. She encourages him to talk privately with the guy that let him down. Maybe you just need to clear the air, she offers. He’s disappointed. It’s not about you.

Marty understands the value of life. How precious it is. How fragile it can be. The challenges is poses. And the rewards it offers. Leelee is a bit tense. Her nap helped. But her stress level about Alex is rising. They’ve been able to communicate about most things gracefully. Alex can be competitive. High strung. And he can come off as forceful. She has no problem declaring her feelings. This is different. This isn’t style or color preferences. A baby will change their lives forever.

As Marty comforts the developing life he whispers to Leelee and Alex. They don’t see the big picture. They think the decision to have a baby starts with them. He will expose them to the deeper meaning of life.

Alex was raised by a single mother. A fabulous lady. Devoted to her only child. His father had walked out on them when he was young. Leaving for another woman. He doesn’t have a relationship with his dad. He adores his mom. But he has many questions about his father. His mom worked hard to stabilize his life but his masculinity can be volatile. Alex was taught to believe in God without any participation in organized religion.

Leelee was brought up with both parents. Her home was solid. Full of love. She’s close to her parents and siblings. She doesn’t have questions about being wanted. Or where she belongs. She was groomed for a good life. Mentored on how to get it. Her family went to church and believes life is spiritual. When she went to college her involvement with her church waned. But her beliefs remain strong.

After marriage Leelee expected they would get involved in a church. She’s a Methodist. Alex doesn’t claim any religion for his own. She’s disappointed with his lack of interest. He doesn’t want to be a regular attendee. She has gone without him but doesn’t like it. He often suggests they do other things on Sundays. While they haven’t fought about it, there is concern, especially for Leelee.

spiritual intamacy youtube

c/o YouTube.com

For now, Marty is the major influence for the baby to be.  This bundle of joy will soon be subjected to every kind of thinking there is. Everything in the world operates through thought processes. Attitudes dictate actions. Beliefs decide family dynamics, political structures, and religious persuasion. There’s a short space of time to establish the best directives. After those virtuous moments pass it’s all about correcting the errors. Marty labors to prepare the baby, the parents, and the environment.

Alex slows his semi pleasant diatribe during dinner. By the time the meal is over he ended his story-telling. Rising from the table he kisses Leelee on the cheek. That was a wonderful meal, Babe. You’re welcome, she counters. He heads back to his chair as Leelee cleans up. Her thoughts take her to a place of solitude. She barely notices that Alex dozes off to sleep. Finishing her after dinner chores she retreats to the living room. She’s decided how she’ll open the conversation.

inrecliner by michael styne

by Michael Styne

Sitting on the couch she watches Alex in his peaceful slumber. His focus on his work project had him intense for the past couple of weeks. The positive outcome is an obvious relief to him. She loves Alex. Deeply. She’s certain about how he feels about her. Alex turns to get more comfortable and wakes himself up. Noticing Leelee watching him, he apologizes, and sits up. I haven’t even asked you about your day, Honey.

I do have something I want to talk to you about, Alex. Sure, Babe. What’s going on? You were very firm about waiting to have a baby. I didn’t agree. It upset me. But I’ve decided to go along with you. It’s true, we don’t have to rush. Oh, that’s great, Leelee. He’s thrilled. Maybe a little too much. I do want to have kids. You know I do. Just not now. Hang on a minute, Alex. Let me finish.

Marty will return next Friday!

 

The Upside of Dysfunction!

download

by wikipedia.org

Maybe dysfunction isn’t the white elephant in the room after all. Maybe, just maybe, it’s a not the horrible thing you think it is. Dysfunction is not a factory defect. Nor is it an incurable disease. But until dysfunction is understood, it will continue to disrupt order and stability.

I didn’t want people to see my frailties. I thought, if people really knew my weaknesses, they would abandon me. Fear of the fraud label paralyzed me. The decision to hide turned me into a judge. I hid because I judged myself unworthy. Judges judge. Entertaining myself with the imperfections of others is a diversion designed to protect me. If I can direct your attention elsewhere, you won’t see me, right?

How could I ever liberate my best self with part of me locked in the basement?

Disapproval can be painful enough to make an honest man lie. Who wants to be ostracized and denied affirmation? To be singled out, for even the most insignificant shortcoming, is the kind of discomfort I like to avoid. So, I opted for perfectionism. A practice that works every time– as long as you don’t stay in one place very long, and you don’t mind being unhappy. The language of dysfunction is destructive and separating. It doesn’t lend itself to acquiring wholeness. Peace of mind doesn’t follow perfection — it precedes it.

If my only hope to control criticism, is to remain underground, I’m hopeless. The energy I use to survive is the same energy I need to thrive. And I only have so much energy, to go around. I had to make a another decision. In order for me to celebrate my life I had to be willing to stop tolerating it. Hiding never set me free and it never will.

peaceof mind monkey

by bonify

Attitude affects outcome and I had a wrong attitude about my dysfunction. I tried to ignore it, silence it, and deny its existence. I saw it as my enemy. It threatened my peace, my joy, and my contentment. I put the good parts of me on display, wanting that to be enough, for inclusion and acceptance. My gifts and talents could get attention, but that didn’t put to rest, the parts of me that needed attention. I excelled, I achieved, and I hid…

This caused inner havoc, a manufactured reality, synthetic at best. But authenticity crouched in my extremities. It screamed in a demanding whisper, “Let me out!”  It squirmed, kicked, and refused to be silenced. It beckoned for me to give the world a chance. “Let the world see the real you,” it howled.

Did I dare think that every piece of me mattered?

The conflict of disharmony raged within. The battle oozed out of my pours. I couldn’t form a complete identity. I knew my fault line, my limitations, and my perceived handicaps. I knew my strengths, abilities, and drive. But I failed to realize authenticity’s’ friendship because I granted dysfunction top billing. I didn’t like it. In fact, I hated it. It occupied me. I became bitter toward myself.  Ah, but the story doesn’t end there.

meditation-1054234_960_720

by pixabay.com

When I pause, embrace stillness, and allow the Light to do its magic, I understand the power of being real.
Dysfunction is not my disqualifier. It’s not my humiliator. It’s not my house of shame. Dysfunction is my birthright, my distinctive DNA. It is my ticket to the dance. It has a purpose. It’s a classroom, a lesson outline, and a teacher all-in-one. Dysfunction is a mentor of what is good and bad, what works and doesn’t work, and what I should keep and what I should throw away.

Dysfunction has no design of mastery within it, and can only rule by default.  It proclaims it has power to permanently disable, render a life destitute, and that its damage is irreparable. But I have always been suspect of its veracity. Dysfunction bites until you bite back.

It appears that dysfunction is related to growing pains.

My daughter cried, “Daddy, my legs hurt.” I messaged them in the middle of the night. It is her muscles that ache. According to kidshealth.org, there’s no medical evidence that bone growth causes pain, and joints are not generally affected. Most likely, her discomfort was brought on from running, jumping, climbing, and playing. Just normal pain from normal living. There’s no cause for alarm, no actual medical condition, unless the pain is the result of natural growth not occurring. That would be cause for great concern. Her bones (structure) and her joints (mobility) are intact. Her discomfort will pass and she can continue to participate in life.

The parallel between the tangible and intangible is eye opening to me.

A bit of rejection, betrayal, and misunderstanding occurs holistically. Just everyday pain from everyday life. A little maturity, wisdom, and time and I’m back in the game. No need for intervention. It’s the beefier stuff; the violations, the molestations, the abuses, the manipulations, and the intimidations that enter like viruses. Without immediate remedy, which seems to rarely happen, natural growth is stunted and dysfunction is born. The earlier emotional trauma happens the greater the dysfunction manifests later in life. Left unattended, it assumes a pseudo identity.

My fictitious persona and arrested development blocked the emergence of my authentic self. My family of origin, my extended family, and my earliest social networks contributed heavily to my lack of well-being. And I have lived in competition with my dysfunction.  Once I knew that my authentic self was trapped inside me, I set him free. I took dysfunction from a calling card to an ingredient. What happened to me…didn’t have to remain dominant…in me.

I  got introduced to dysfunction through the dysfunction of other people. We all do. What I experienced, and what I’m familiar with, became accepted as normal. Common (what is) and normal (what should be) are sometimes two ships passing in the night. Not every family trait is a keeper. Some life experiences taught me what I don’t want in my life. Whether it’s bad blood, or bad love, I have to deal with inconvenient truths.

Dysfunction became certain when I misinterpreted life events. The negative energy from wrong thinking created a limp in my gait. I had to choose to break or wake. There isn’t anyone to give me the life that only I can create for myself. Once I determined the nature of my dysfunction my instinct spoke to my value. And value never changes. Dysfunction doesn’t address who you are it only addresses what you’re doing. When I aligned with my value my dysfunction became an obedient child.

leapforjoy

by wikipedia.org

Dysfunction isn’t my failure—it’s one of many instructors. It has awakened me and showed me a better way. I put dysfunction in it’s place. I rewrote my story to reflect my value. I moved from competition to completion. The cataracts have fallen and I have vision. I have cleared my throat and found my voice. I’m upright, whole, healthy and happy. I’ve taken what weakened me, brought me to my knees, and scattered me to the winds; and I re-purposed it all. I found out dysfunction has a shelf-life and expires when I finish with it.

The upside of dysfunction is when you make it work for you!!!