The Vision Trip!

“If I paint a wild horse, you might not see the horse… but surely you will see the wildness!” ~ Pablo Picasso

DESIRE

Eyes, please open. I really want to see. So many times I just haven’t been able to see clearly. With invisible blinders clarity resists. The craving for understanding growls like an unsatisfied tapeworm pushing me to keep believing in what is not yet revealed. How do we even know intuition will produce something tangible?

wild horse by Torbakhopper on flickr

Image courtesy of Torbakhopper via flickr.com

Believing has the companionship of reality or delusion. When hope begins to materialize it’s akin to a freshly prescribed pair of glasses. Antiquated thought restrictions loosen their grip. Liberty announces it’s presence. It’s the opposite of receiving a new package in the mail. It turns out that what we want is inside of us. And, has been all along.

QUESTIONS

I’ve heard it said many times; “the only dumb question is the one you don’t ask.” I have sat through Q & A sessions where that theory could easily be challenged. Leading questions. Open-ended questions. Closed-ended questions. Popular questions. Unlikely questions. Reflective and hypothetical questions, Questions you wished you hadn’t asked and, questions you wished you had.

Inquiring minds are aroused, negatively and positively at the introduction of both familiar and unfamiliar ideas. The perceived answers we cling to are only as good as the questions we ask. Experience, human interactions, and various forms of language often offer opportunities to form more questions.

mindful ForbesOste on flickr

Image courtesy of ForbesOste via flickr.com

 

Thoughts structure the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual house we live in. To add on to our dwelling science/psychology explains, in order to change we must create new memories inside old ones. I discovered a principle that changed the trajectory of my life. It’s this, new answers require new questions. Ask the same question and you are likely to get the same answer.

RESISTANCE 

The technical term for the fear of change is Metathesiophobia. It’s a real thing. And, it is common enough to be recognized as a conditioning of vast segments of populations, cultures, and societies. Fear immobilizes us from taking any steps forward. Convincing us that it’s protecting us and providing security wherever we happen to be.

The admission that we are looking for something beyond what we are currently functioning in, ought to serve as an invitation, to be more open to greater understanding. Avoiding facing the tougher, more thought out, and demanding questions locks the door to growth. We feel trapped.

The temptation to double down where we are is difficult to resist. Changing our belief system, methods of operating, and familiar habits simply to say, we have changed, without the benefit of standing on higher ground, can be futile. Fear can reinvent itself without changing its core.

FREEDOM

Trending philosophies can harness a collective momentum that seems liberating until the net closes. Leaving us ensnared in an intricate woven tapestry that uses us for decorations, memorializing what could have been. Too many things appear virtuous until their deficits are unmasked.

Progress is a funny thing. Forward for some… backward for others. Is right and wrong really that controversial? While I am fascinated with how people come to opposite conclusions when considering the same information I am unwilling to switch my position until I can determine the end result of doing so.

Trip by J Sounder on flickr

Image courtesy of J Sonder via flickr.com

In an ever-changing world where mixed messages remain constant, I think it’s important to find resolve. Somethings are very knowable. For instance, what determines the value of anger is whether it’s attached to hurt or healing. We can ascertain the message of pain by whether or not we turn it into passivity or purpose. Our intention is decided by our altruistic or egoistic contributions.

Everybody is on a vision trip!

What do you see on your trip?

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CHECKING YOUR WORLD-VIEW!

Much of the mainstream news has sunk into activism. Their agenda is undisputed; they want to get us to believe what they are saying. It doesn’t matter if it’s true. The only fact that we can rely on, from the media monopoly, is their determination to get us to buy into what they’re selling. One really shouldn’t underestimate their commitment to propagate controlled deception.

Unfortunately, many people have allowed themselves to become desensitized to the reality of synchronized oppression. What is the truth? How do you find it? And, what should you do when you discover it?  Things don’t magically appear out of thin air. Make no mistakes about it, when fruit shows up it has a root.

Power politics have existed since Cain and Abel. If there are two people in the same proximity rest assured, one of them wants to boss the other one around. Or at least, wants what the other one has. Lord Acton has it right, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” We are surrounded by a free-for-all where the fringe and elites alike are vying for as much power as they can possibly acquire. The power they seek, specifically, is over the commoner, average Joe, and every day you and me.

Sometimes we wake up by tragedy and sometimes we wake up with passion. Whatever it takes, be thankful to be awake. The time for resting on our laurels and burying our head in the sand has come and gone. The fox has hit the hen-house like a thief in the night. The feathers of our freedoms are quietly falling to the ground to be trampled on. We’ve been gently acclimated to the presence of violence in our most sacred spaces.

Even if you don’t agree with every point presented we owe a debt of gratitude to anyone who spends hours and hours in research, looking behind the walls of corruption and then sharing the information even at the risk of personal loss or harm. If the very idea of conspiracy theories and secret agendas have you quickly dismissing them without so much as considering their possibility, it might be expedient for you to check your world-view. Some people are devoted to investigating, uncovering, and sharing everything they find so that people can weigh the facts and decide for themselves what is true and what is not. I’ve come to know Luca Majno as a journalist who will make you think, and think again.

I take very little for granted. I routinely investigate information so that I can decide for myself. And, I always encourage others to do the same. I recently interviewed Luca, a fellow co-host on TLB TV. You can watch the whole interview by clicking this link:  http://bit.ly/2hF9dRq

Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

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MATTERS OF FACT!

Love, as a necessary construct is missing. When I observe society and consider our present state of affairs I find that many of our social ills are the direct result of a lack of love. Our politics and policies would look very different if we insisted on compassion and empathy as the framework for governance.

Liberals and conservatives occupy the landscape like they are the only choices we have available. These two predominant points of view, in their present makeup, fail to accurately present the growing concerns of the vast majority of our population. As awareness, of the deep departure from the principles of our founding, matures, more and more people are wanting to return to our roots.

As diversity is touted as the pinnacle of enlightenment we discover that “political correctness” has only camouflaged the corruption of special interests. Back-room deals, constitutional ignorance, and an out of control elite class has run our country off course. There’s a rising mandate to recover from years of dysfunction and abuse of power.

We’re living in an echo chamber where we have been trading deficits with imaginary progress. We have sliced and diced our way into divisions and clicks that can only be described as mass detachment from reality. We have erected totems that represent attitudes of self-centeredness and selfish thinking that epitomizes the worst of humanity. For all of our accumulated knowledge, we lack the basic restraints needed for recognizing the unalienable rights of every living person.

It’s time to … 

I’m not inviting or encouraging nullifying any genuine progress that is universally beneficial, without violation, and non-threatening. I am advocating for authentic and transparent leadership, accountability to our oaths, and a willingness to respect our principles as we heal ourselves from the wounds of manipulation. I’m promoting personal responsibility as the means to charter chaotic waters. I’m saying we have not yet found our best selves.

The acknowledgment that what we’re doing isn’t working as a society is the beginning of our rebirth. What lies ahead is alterable. Personalities that provide lip service and false promises are losing their grip on our people. More and more rhetoric is being dissected and schemes to strip us of our power is being uncovered. A return to love affords us the opportunities we need to correct our path.

I’m excited and filled with hope for the future before us. I believe in our ability to regain our destiny. As we face our challenges we do so with the determination that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is still a possibility for all of us. We have a lot of work to do but, the work has already begun. Let us not grow weary in the worthy endeavor of triumphing over times of prevailing corruption.

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THE MISSING INGREDIENT!

Extremism has taken over our world. The absence of love has allowed for chaos and corruption to rule in nearly every segment of society. We often treat each other with a disregard for the inherent value we all share. Life is sacred and must be respected and valued for the virtue awarded to each of us by just being here, alive on the planet.

Competition has become the distracter to the greater challenge of learning to love. We have lost our ability to dialogue and substituted monologue in its place. Our differences are not things to fear. Rather, it affords us an opportunity to discuss the many challenges we face and explain why we think what we think. We aren’t likely to agree on every issue. But, we should relish the chance to offer the reasons for things we hold in high regard.

Extremism acts as a religion whereby we use politics to gain an advantage over others. Our Republic was carefully crafted to ensure the protection of our individual rights. The second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence states; “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

The erosion of these rights has evolved with a fierce and violent infringement. While many have sought to redefine love as only being applicable to a select group of our choosing, we have accepted the stupor of living insensibly. If any has lost recognition as being inherently valuable we have all lost. I contend that love, for ourselves and one another, is the way for each of us to move forward! Love pixabay

Love is the mark we can’t afford to miss. It is the only blueprint that makes inclusion possible, and the only means of avoiding discrimination. Our challenges are unique opportunities to bring the best out of ourselves. When we refuse to see one another as problems and see the sacredness we each possess we take significant steps to make the world a better place.

Love is the missing ingredient!

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A Message From The King!

The very idea of mediocrity sends my creative endorphins into convulsions. Even when excellence remains elusive, the possible moves the needle on my fuel gauge.

Gourmet Experiences

Imagine being seated at a fine eating establishment and the waiter, dressed in black and white, with a bow tie shows up at your table with a microwave oven on a rolling cart. No need for a menu as there are only half a dozen items to choose from. Frozen concoctions, loaded with ingredients you can’t possibly pronounce. Delicious, but not nutritious sounds about right.

waiter on pixabay

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

Just because it’s unheard of doesn’t mean it’s unthinkable. In recent years I have added a few meals to my repertoire but, I’m not likely to host my own cooking show. My talents are clearly not culinary. That really doesn’t prohibit me from strapping on an apron and improvising when the mood strikes. Measuring cups are optional.

The failure rate for new restaurants is staggering. Failure is a good thing to study, especially if you want to fail. Figuring out what caused the few successes might be a more beneficial exploration.

What is it that we really want? Why don’t we have it? if it’s what we want more than anything. Fast, convenient, and readily available just might be the last thing we need. It’s more than probable that the idea and ingredients bouncing around inside you is the actual recipe to feed you for life. Home cooking has always been less risky.

I study achievers, not to duplicate them, as I don’t desire to be them. But to see if they have something I can use to be the best me I can be. It’s all too easy to lose uniqueness in duplication. There are plenty of resources available to enhance originality when we keep our focus on getting out what is inside of us rather than trying to get something we think we don’t have.

HEART HEALTHY

Most people crave safety. Which leads to risk aversion, which immobilizes the heartiest of dreams, leaving the vast majority with underutilized wings. We flirt with destiny without ever saying “I Do.” Taking the plunge is the only way to get wet. Is having to dry off with a towel that life-threatening? So what if it didn’t work the first time around?

Sir Ken Robinson, the British author, and international advisor on education states, “creativity is as important as literacy.” He further elaborates, “we stigmatize mistakes.” Caution is good when it’s appropriate. Nurturing the fear of failure can lead to an actual condition called “atychiphobia” which is when we allow fear to stop us from doing things that can move us forward.

don't panic towel

Image courtesy of flickr.com

Thomas Edison failed miserably before successfully creating the light bulb. The debate about how many times he failed ranges from one thousand to ten thousand times. When questioned about his failed attempts he replied, “I have not failed. I’ve just discovered 10,000 ways that didn’t work.”

While not trying might offer some notion of avoiding the pain of failure, I contend, it’s not capable of soothing a life not given permission to try. The list of men and women who didn’t allow failure to stop them is substantial. Vincent Van Gogh, for one, only sold one painting in his lifetime even though he painted over 900 works of art. Today, he is considered one of the most famous and influential figures in the history of western art.

External approval is chump-change compared to the value of self-acceptance. None of us should yield to wishful thinking, relegate ourselves to the grandstands to watch others live their lives. Every living soul has an invitation to fulfillment.

HAVE IT YOUR WAY

My grandboy, Jaden, is eight years old. He’s become a little opportunistic with his kisses. Typical for a boy his age but, none of us like it very much. His mother was trying to get a kiss before she left for work the other day and he wasn’t having it. She asked, why won’t you kiss me? My kisses are for papa, he said. My ears perked up! I’m your mother, I gave you life, you kiss me, she lamented. He said, but you’re just regular, papa is grand, as in grandfather. I wasn’t about to correct him. It was all in good fun.

We will never know how grand our idea, dream or mission is if we think of them as regular, ordinary, or not worthy. That fluttering of intuition, that little voice inside, that thing that won’t go away might be more than you realize. Everyone has something that is uniquely their’s. I encourage you to go for it! As many times as it takes.

After months of testing the idea in select markets, in February of 2016, Burger King made the decision to add wieners to their menu. What? The Home of the Whopper is going to adulterate itself with hot dogs? Say it ain’t so! This isn’t the first try. Burger King had hot dogs back in the seventies. If at first, you don’t succeed… 

hot dog

Image courtesy of flickr.com

I won’t get into their in-house master plan, which is quite savvy. But, I do want to talk about the decision. It’s BOLD, to say the least. To be known for one thing and recreate yourself into something else is a lesson for us all. There is more than one way to skin a cat… or capture a percentage of over 20 billion hot dogs sold annually in the US alone.

The longing for success that resides inside each of us needs a chance. Dust it off, reshape it if you have to, just set it free. We are all presently writing a chapter in our life story. We can launch into our possibilities, revisit past ambitions, or rethink discounted inclinations. We wouldn’t be considering it if we couldn’t do it. We cannot know the reception to our Frankfurter until we serve it on a bun.

The message from the King (burger king) is clear, you’ll never know if you don’t try!

What dream are you sitting on?

You can catch my weekly online TV show “Rick on Life” at http://www.TLBTV.com every Sunday 12:00 PM CST. Past shows are available on demand. After you get to the page just click the media tab.

Pick up a copy of my book If Only I Had A Dad: Finding Freedom From Fatherlessness, available on Amazon.

 

 

 

 

 

A Conversation With Kevin Knebl

This Week on “Rick on Life”

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“Rick on Life”:  www.facebook.com/TLBTV  Sunday’s at 12:00 PM CST

 

Keys To Remarkable Results

Kevin is not only one of the most recommended speakers and trainers in the world, he is also a really great guy. He’s generous and carries what I refer to as a “happy vibe.”

You could pay a lot of money to attend one of Kevin’s presentations. So, grab your notepads and join us for an insightful interview.

Kevin Knebl, CMEC is an International Speaker, Author, Trainer and Joie de Vivre Coach™ whose clients include individuals and small, medium and Fortune 500 companies. He’s an in-demand, leading authority on Social Selling, Relationship Marketing, LinkedIn and Twitter with a healthy dose of Inspiration, Transformational Insight, and Humor blended in for good measure for conferences, conventions, company training, and many other events.

Kevin is the co-author of “The Social Media Sales Revolution: The New Rules for Finding Customers, Building Relationships, and Closing More Sales Through Online Networking” (McGraw-Hill). Kevin is also a contributing author of “Learn Marketing with Social Media in Seven Days” (Wiley).

Kevin is, The Most Recommended Business Speaker in the World
among over 281,298 Business Speakers Worldwide (LinkedIn 2017)
Int’l Speaker/Author/Trainer
Social Selling & Relationship Marketing Specialist
CEO – Knebl Communications, LLC, The Social Selling & Relationship Marketing Professional Services Firm™

“High Tech + High Touch = Much Higher Success” ツ

kevin@kevinknebl.com
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Rick Amitin is an author, blogger, speaker, and host of “Rick on Life.”

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How To Find Meaning In The Noise!

 

 

1024px-Ruído_Noise wikimedia commons

Image via commons.wikimedia.org

His volume and intensity sent me scurrying for a safe place. Even though my stepfather has been in the grave for several years, he still holds the deplorable position of being the most miserable man I’ve ever known. He was an angry person! And, he made most everyone who entered his space afraid, on some level.

If you want me to hear you don’t drown out your words with emotions too uncomfortable for me to pay attention. I want to listen to what you have to say. I want to understand you. You’re important to me and the world we share. I desire to affirm your value. In return, I expect to be equally valued in spite of any differences between us.

I recognize our political climate. It’s broken, dysfunctional, and will not be easily changed. It has taken years and years for us to develop our current state of affairs. Our two prevailing parties have had their opportunities to serve the greater good. What we have are unimaginable failures. We are left with excuse making and blame gaming at epic proportions. Personalities aren’t going to save us from ourselves.

When both sides of the proverbial aisle speak, I hear the same worn out and tired elitist propaganda. I’ve never seen the level of commitment to immaturity I’m witnessing in our public discourse. One great marvel for me is the notion that we have the brightest among us leading the way. Some of our politicians have been in office so long it defies logic to give them a pass on being responsible for the disorder we’re living in. This is an absolute crisis of leadership no matter which camp you choose to pitch your tent in.

We can stay the course or we can rise to our potential. We can look inside to calm ourselves with compassion toward one another or we can continue to justify our hatred of disagreement. Don’t expect anything to change… if you don’t. The only thing special about individual agendas are how damaging they are to the well-being of the larger community. Specific issues have appropriate responses if we will get our attitudes adjusted to adult settings. Until we each acknowledge accountability for donating to our present fiasco the storm will continue to form.

I had no choice but to be subjected to the temper tantrums of my stepfather, who had the emotional makeup of an adolescent until I became old enough to go my own way. When I became a man I put away childish things. I find it gratifying to resolve conflict and remedy challenges with wisdom instead of war. The roots of bloodshed reside in the depths of our internal workings. If you can’t make room, for those who don’t see it precisely the way you do, you don’t carry the message we need to move forward.

Public service has been replaced with public office, (career politicians). Our judicial system has been turned into a legal playground where justice happens only on accident. Our religious institutions are often self-serving. Corporate corruption is rampant. From education to homelessness our Country is in steady decline. We have a lot of work to do to correct our course. It has to begin with us. We must accept individual responsibility for the change we want to see.

Whatever virtues our traditional media outlets were designed in have disappeared long ago. We now have to fight for pure information. The facts are hidden under layers of carefully crafted rhetoric orchestrated for maximum mind control. I have too much hope for a better tomorrow to yield to cynicism. I know we can do better. I believe in us!

People are angry. I get it. But, anger is an invitation to compassion. It’s our understanding that must grow up. When hate is used to argue against hate it’s just noise. If we will climb down from our imaginary pedestals of superiority and listen to one another, with a desire to make sense of the other persons’ point of view, we can seize an incredible opportunity to advance in the direction of inclusion.

I don’t have an aisle to reach across. It’s a void that I’m referring to. A gap in our collective consciousness. There’s a lack of awareness in our understanding that every person has the exact same value. True equality is altruistic and has a clear sound. An egoistic argument has the distinction of amplified selfishness and nothing more.

FredMikeRudy on flickr

Image courtesy of FredMikeRudy via flickr.com

If you, in fact, have an answer, please don’t disguise it behind name calling, the antics of a bully, or the rants of a spoiled brat. We all need something to respect here. We have an abundance of pollution… what we need are solutions. I’m looking for poise, not noise.

Laws are for the lawless. Painted lines and traffic signs along the highway are there to keep us all safe. Violate the rules of the road and the law hands you a note of penalty, hopefully. If you are hell-bent on passing laws, to give or gain unmerited exemptions, releasing you from adherence or penalty you have saved me the time and trouble of identifying the real you. Burning buildings, destroying property, causing bodily injury or death won’t bring us together. It’s the wrong kind of kind of noise.

It was Mother Teresa, who so eloquently stated,  “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Anyone can tear down. It takes a courageous soul to build up. I hear all the ear-piercing noise of disappointment. We all do. And, we are the only ones who can make it go away.

Together, if willing, we can find meaning in the noise.

 

Rick is an author, speaker, blogger, and TV host. 

“Rick on Life”  at http://www.facebook.com/TLBTV airs Sundays at 10:00 am PST

Book: If Only I Had A Dad available on Amazon

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How To Know IF You’re Seeing Things Correctly!

All seeing eye Max Pixel

Image courtesy of Max Pixel

I’m a mixed breed! Accepting that is as pure as it gets for me. Giving up trying to be a thoroughbred, of any kind, has freed me from pining about pedigree.

 

Recognizable Specificity

I don’t fit everywhere. Thankfully, I no longer want to. The assumed task of pleasing everyone is an indomitable endeavor. And, I have never been content forfeiting me. Approval can be fleeting and laden with hypocrisy. When other people celebrate you, only because you accommodate their desires, conflict is inevitable. Peace of mind can’t happen in your absence.

I know people who listen to only one type of music. That just doesn’t work for me. Rhythms and lyrics affect me, like all mediums do, and I want to have a say in the feeling I’m experiencing when I’m listening, reading, or observing. I’ve learned to appreciate difference, any single point of view could never account for my multiple channels. I have a simple requirement, I insist on being lifted up.

I avoid things that bring me down, make me conscious of negativity, or disrupt my intention to reside in a state of harmony. A single focus doesn’t mean narrow in scope. Paintings, books, science, nature, an ambient restaurant, a small child, or a cloud formation are just a few of the many opportunities for tranquility. Life is full of beauty.

Every vibe isn’t virtuous. Anything that causes me to turn-on myself has slipped past my radar. I know immediately if I’m berating, belittling, or hating on me I’m  suffering vision impairment. And, whenever I’m flirting with consternation, pouring out wrath on others, smoke is in my eyes. Clear vision builds you and others.

CORRECTIVE LENSES

Anger has never had 20/20 vision. I speak from experience. I was angry for much of my life. I plunged into being angry at my anger. Much of my anger was justified. But here is the problem; anger, left to its own devices, blurs vision. We can be upset for good reason but, unless we are willing to turn our passion into purpose, we are left to stew in destructive heat.

Eye exam staff sargent Jason McCasland USAF

Image courtesy of SS Jason McCasland via USAF

Anger is not an invitation to hate, though it is often interpreted that way. It is, in fact, a call to action. Anger is a compliment of trust. Its simply requesting our attention. Desiring to show us a way forward. Giving us opportunities for growth. Providing insight to our unique set of challenge solving skills. Anger chooses us, to make something better.

Being betrayed and violated is disturbing. Almost as troubling as personal dysfunction. When we are done wrong… (Hey, it happens, and will undoubtedly happen again) its decision time. Just because someone decides to live in the basement is no reason to move out of the penthouse. We can be thankful that we won’t be investing anymore of ourselves in things we don’t want in our lives.

As Maya Angelou so ably instructed, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” I believe in forgiveness, redemption, and second chances; I couldn’t be here if I didn’t. But disrespect and broken trust leaves little to build on. Repairs are possible with collaboration. I try to remember that what people do is not as important as why they do it.  Understanding that what happened might be the best there is in the moment.

When I resist the temptation to cause pain and intentionally strive to serve my mission, serving others, that’s how I know I’m seeing things correctly.

How do you see it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Determine The Questions To Ask!

question-mark- pixabay.png

Image courtesy of pixabay.com

It was a friendly environment and the speaker seemed warm enough. I was about to ask my question when… what if it’s a stupid question? The popular adage, “the only dumb question is the one you don’t ask” won’t actually protect you from uncontrollable sneering. I decided to forgo the chance at enlightenment, opting instead, for self-preservation.

THE BUFFET TABLE

The constant barrage of voices vying for influence, in our minds, can be daunting. We can grow weary and become vulnerable. Or, we can become frustrated and dismiss potential opportunities to increase understanding. Whether we slip into one of these, or some other immobility, we can’t ignore the lingering desire to learn. Being “in the know” is empowering. Questions abound but are only virtuous if they lead to solutions.

What scares us is the thought of feeling belittled, inadequate, or incompetent. Wanting to avoid negative feelings can be a strong driver. I disagree with the old saying, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”  While fear has a place of honor,  it is often out of place. Questions are a key component of any progressive strategy. I question myself first, then I test my answer in the form of a question to others.

Contrary to pervasive confusion, answers are not hiding. I’m convinced answers wait patiently to be discovered.  They are positioned in merited investigation. Whenever I’m struggling with advancing toward my aspirations it’s always because I’m not asking the right questions. Intuition is at peek performance when it suggests highly personalized interrogation. We benefit significantly when we realize the gift of the question that just won’t go away.

PORTION CONTROL

The people who stock the buffet have no responsibility for what we put on our plates. One of my favorite saying from Maya Angelou is, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I get her meaning. Completely. However, I’ve had to tweak its power.

What we feel is the result of the invitation being extended. How we feel is the result of the invitations we accept. Nobody can make us attach to a feeling. In order for any feeling to resonate it has to be met with agreement. If someone hands us a helping of negativity and we “know” what they’re saying isn’t true, we can turn down the invitation. If we think there’s some truth in what’s being said, we are likely to overeat junk-food.

Partial truths are loaded with hidden calories and lead to unwanted weight gain. Our positive thoughts, and good intentions, go straight to our waste-lines when they are not allowed to flourish in healthy feelings. In my quest for personal excellence, I have come to understand, my well-being is not only found in what I’m eating but in how much of it I’m devouring. I try to ask only those questions I actually want the answers to.

DIGESTION

Our world is filled with limitless information and yet, solutions remain aloof. The endless chatter seems fermented in knowing exactly, what the other person needs to do, to make things better. When remedies beg for something more we need to ask a different question. I refuse to let anyone, by coercion or otherwise, take away my right to inquire.

The noteworthy work of aligning our good intentions with our prevailing feelings demands we know the value of questions. When my best answers don’t change my trajectory, I rephrase the question. If my findings don’t improve things for me, and those around me, I find another question. Being in the dark gives me heartburn.

I determine the questions to ask based on whether or not things are working the way I want them to. The most important questions are the ones you ask yourself!

Any questions?

I demonstrate my Q & A journey in my book: If Only I Had A Dad,  http://amzn.to/2lMHJ9t

 

 

 

 

 

5 Strategies to Maximize Life Lessons!

Life Lessons mRio on flickr

Image courtesy of mRio via flickr

I heard the lady sitting next  to me, on the bus, say to her companion; “You live and learn.” I’ve heard that saying many times before. I’m certain I’ve said the exact same thing on a number of occasions. Who would disagree with the obvious? But we all know people who seem to be stuck. I’ve been there myself. Not able to extrapolate the gracious and generous message being sent to me.

IDENTIFYING THE POINT

The body is designed to heal itself. When it doesn’t, something has gone wrong. The argument is a strong one; most medical practices treat symptoms not causes. And the side affects of treatment can be dire. Symptoms are an invitation to change something we’re doing or not doing. Ignore the message and most likely we will receive a stronger one shortly.

When I joined the Marines, in 1974, I maximized the physical fitness test conducted in basic training before graduation. I was the only one in my unit to do so. I was considered undersized. So, they made me eat double portions to gain weight. I’ve often joked that the government is responsible for my undesirable growth later in life.

When my military service was over my physical activity diminished. I stayed  involved in sports, initially, but lifestyle changes slowly brought me to less and less exercise. I ignored my diet, eating whatever I wanted without regard for where I was headed. I didn’t heed the gentle signs my body was sending. It took a heart attack to get my full attention. Could it have happened if I did a better job of taking care of myself? Absolutely. But it is also a possibility that I could have prevented or delayed it.

Many good decisions follow bad ones. What if we made better choices in the first place?Part of our reality is the artificially induced connectedness of technology. For all of our efforts to gain intimacy through social media platforms we are more isolated than ever. We ignore the benefits of authentic relationships with other people and, more importantly, with ourselves. The feeling of missing out has, you guessed it, caused us to miss out. We don’t get quiet enough, long enough, to receive the vital signs of emptiness.

MISIDENTIFYING THE POINT

Shame is the elephant in the room. While it’s true that we don’t get what we want, in life, we get what we are, we need to clarify the adage. We don’t get what we deserve we get what we feel we deserve. Positive thinking has many virtues. I’ve submitted to the practice of thinking good thoughts for many years, even speaking positive things, and lived with a feeling that contradicted my best thoughts.

Feelings attracts thoughts that reinforce feelings. And feelings dictate outcomes. Positive thoughts, by nature, are trying to change the way we feel. If the feelings are dominate, the thoughts, no matter how noble, will fail to bring about difference. This understanding has changed my life. Nobody can make me feel anything I don’t agree with. If someone says something disparaging to me, and I think it’s true I will feel the negativity of what was said. But, if I know it’s not true, I’m empowered to not feel a thing.

THE POINT OF AN AHA

From childhood until this very moment I have received a continuous flow of Aha moments. Many of them never converted to defining moments. I’m driven to communicate. I will immediately start sharing any and every revelation that comes to me. Sharing is good. Right? I would give away what I captured in my mind before I captured it in my heart. The results were sometimes excruciating, as I watched the wisdom change the feeling in other people while my feeling remained the same.

I’ve lived much of my life feeling damaged. I held on to what wasn’t working with a better thought bouncing of the walls of my mind. Clinging to my feeling prevented the insight from taking root. Powerful thoughts, which were working to align me with truth (I’m not damaged) couldn’t become foundational because my feeling kept shooing them away. Core beliefs are not only what you think – they are what you feel, about you. If we don’t change our feeling our mind and heart will continue to be at odds with each other.

When we possess the feeling of what we want to obtain, as though we already have it, our thoughts will rush to accommodate us.

APPRECIATING THE POINT

Oh what tangled webs we weave when, in fact, we are deceived. (slightly altered) I have an innate dislike for the saying: everything happens for a reason. It gets used like it sets us free from figuring out what we need to know. If we choose a conspiracy theory as our guide we insure a repetition of life experiences. If we can’t dissect what happens then what happens is meaningless.

Rejection is often redirection and not a denial. I’m now able to appreciate things that didn’t work out. I was trying to force things that were not meant for me. My desires were based on limited knowledge that led me to believe there was a singular way to go about things. That there was only one way to be in the world. What I was really doing was attempting to validate myself with infertile approval. I was sincere but confused.

The real detriment of comparison, is lose of identity. We’re subtly driven to be someone else because we think that’s the best version of ourselves. That’s just plain inaccurate. Our uniqueness is our assignment. It’s where we discover significance. I’ve wrestled with overwhelming disappointment because of the demeaning story I wrote, and lived out about myself. Good things are an indication of what’s in-store for us.

ACCEPTING THE POINT 

It it’s not fun, reconsider. We aren’t meant for hardship and struggle. The battle isn’t to acquire by force; It’s to cooperate with our purpose. From money issues to peace of mind the only conflict is what we believe (feeling + thought) about ourselves. We can separate from abuse if we are willing to stop abusing ourselves.

If I have to be you to be me I have a problem. The point of every message being sent to us is to ratify our reason for being here. Yes, if at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again. But, let’s not do it over and over without considering why we are doing it. Determination is not the same thing as stubbornness. What works and doesn’t work is very personal to each of us. Every one of us has a reservation to the flow of life. Our mission is to find it.

If we discriminate against ourselves we have, most assuredly, missed the point!

What is your greatest life lesson?