For The Love Of Pajamas!

windowshopping by peter barr on

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Being on the outside, looking in, isn’t always a bad thing. Case in point; Window Shopping. Looking at stuff, without touching, smelling, or trying anything on is a way to save big. Of course, you won’t be able to parade around in designer trends or the latest fashions.


I have a friend. I won’t mention his name but, his initials are, Rick Dempsey. We share an affinity for shopping. Some have suggested that we are a couple of guys in touch with our feminine sides. As if shopping belongs exclusively to females.

I can tell you whether we felt stressed, depressed, or on top of the world we could shop. I’m definitely the better shopper. One time we went to Tijuana’ back when good deals, especially for leather, were worth the trip. On this bargain hunt we had another friend with us. Our guest and I negotiated respectable deals before we headed back across the border. Dempsey claimed he wasn’t looking for anything and didn’t make a purchase.


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It’s common for traffic to be backed up to get through the border checkpoint. There were merchants, including sad-looking children, knocking on the car windows trying to sell you something while you’re stuck in traffic. It takes a lot of self-control not to buy things. This day Dempsey failed miserably. He impulsively purchased an awful green colored purse. claiming his wife loved green. He believed it to be leather. It turned out to be pure vinyl. He tragically overpaid.

Oh yes! We were relentless. For the hour drive home we didn’t let him catch his breath. Laughing at him. Teasing him. Bad color, paid too much, and vinyl to boot. We get to his house and he proudly presents his prized purchase, in hope of redemption, to his wife. Her response was priceless. What made you buy that? she asked. I was thinking of you, he quipped. You can always use another purse, he begged. And you love green, he demanded. I don’t need another purse, she stated. And this green is terrible. Plus, it’s vinyl. I don’t remember how long I was on the floor but my stomach was sore from laughing for several days. Buy with your emotions and suffer the consequences. In retail and in life.

Make Certain!

Turnabout is fair play. It’s Christmas time. Dempsey and I are shopping at Nordstrom’s Rack, in San Diego. One last gift for my wife. We’d been shopping for hours. We combed the store and I was striking out. Money was tight. I was hoping to find an unbelievable deal for fifty bucks. We were about to reach the exit doors when I spotted the sale rack. Everything for $20.00.

I tore into it. Boom! 100 percent silk pajamas. Small and petite. The gods had smiled on me. I pulled them down and headed to check out. Feeling like once again I  had out done my friend. Did you find everything? the lady asked. Yes ma’am. This is my last gift. I’m done Christmas shopping two weeks early. I pulled out thirty dollars to cover the sale and tax when the lady said, that will be a hundred, seven dollars, and thirty-two cents.

There must be a mistake, I said. I got these off the rack that said everything for $20.00. I’m sorry, she replied. Somebody must have hung them there by mistake. Dempsey was just about to die laughing. I had bragged about what a good shopper I was. Displaying my discipline when he tried to get me to buy things. Saying, he knew my wife would love it. I held my ground until I came up with the deal of the season. He showed no mercy. Obviously holding a grudge. Relishing in his chance to get back at me for Tijuana’.

spilledmilk Joel Montes de Oca flickr

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The lady asked if I still wanted the pajamas. There was a long line. She said I’m sure your wife will love ’em. I didn’t have enough money. I pulled out a credit card and completed the transaction. My best buddy was choking on his retribution. Although Tina wore them they were not her favorite. They were cold in the winter, hot in the summer, and slippery too. If it’s not what it’s advertised to be it’s best to put it back. In retail and in life. 


Have you made any bad purchases?



Things That Make You Go Hmmm….

Define yourself or someone will do it for you. Actually, others will define you no matter what. But, if you define yourself you will always know the truth -RA

Three things that made me go “Hmmmm”:

  1. The day I realized the only thing I need is clarity.
  2. The day I understood forgiveness is not connected to worthiness.
  3. The day I became love I stopped looking for it.

    euphoria by h.koppdelaney on flickr

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Please share what makes you go, hmmm.

A Band-Aid Would Be Ridiculous!

The Mouth-Body connection is real. The mouth is the window to overall good health. Healthy solutions are easily overlooked for immediate relief. The last thing I want, when I have a toothache, is a lesson on good oral practices. But, if I ignore the discipline required to maintain proper oral hygiene, I will only hurt again. Maybe worse next timeopenwide

Open Wide and Say Aah!

Free speech was never meant to be cheap. The right to speak openly for many has been dislocated from rational, responsible, dialogue. You can’t possibly be against hate, bigotry, racism, and all the other things you rant about and use hate, bigotry, and racism to promote your causes. That can only mean, you’re not actually against those things, you’re only against them being used on you. We have a much larger issue at the core of our civil disunion. That old saying is true; “Hurt people – hurt people.” I hear the layers of pain in much of the rhetoric coming from the mouths of my fellow citizens.

Anger can be just another escaped prisoner. A convict on the run. It can be defined from feelings of annoyance to fits of rage. If anger is used, to find solutions for the common good, we discover virtue within its flames. But, if you are willing to dispose, maim, annihilate, or kill off half the population because they don’t agree with you, what are you representing? I’m not at all impressed with sloth, lazy vocabulary, and childish temper tantrums. Political Correctness is the most effective distraction to civility I’ve seen in my lifetime. Empowering the immature to shoot first and answer questions later. It’s an addiction, making rehabilitation for the masses, inevitable.


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Let’s Look at the X Rays!

Both sides of the aisle is who got us here. It would seem love does cover a multitude of sins. I see many people worshipping personalities and I’m struggling to find a politician to respect. I set my expectations low and still fail to be excited. Just honesty, respectfulness, maturity, and common sense is all I’m looking for. I’m not drinking anybody’s cool aid. From either side of the aisle. In fact, I think having only one aisle has made civil decency unwelcome. Wisdom, inclusion, kindness, and principles appear to be prohibited on the current social landscape. If I wanted to experience a circus I think Barnum and Bailey offers the better deal. 

My concern is much greater than who gets elected the next president. While some are entertaining themselves with the sport of politics we’re being duped, bamboozled, and hoodwinked as a nation. Self intoxication is still inebriation. I was born here. I’m not confused where my loyalty belongs. I’m as committed to growth as anyone else. It’s my responsibility to increase my awareness and understanding. I will correct my speech, adjust my attitude, apply the principles of good citizenship. I will show respect for you even when we disagree. Nobody can brush and floss for you. And, would you want them too?


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band-aid by Torabakhopper on flickr

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When did name calling, personal attacks, and making fun of people become a mark of nobility? Bullying is bad among children. When did it become good in adult interactions? Standing up for what you believe doesn’t require the diminishing of another. It’s possible to express your position without spitting on the person you’re talking to. This post isn’t about our politics or our politicians. We tolerate them because they look like us. It’s about what we are suffering? Widespread oral disease. Weakening our structure. Our teeth are falling out. Creating social halitosis. It’s going to take maturity. When oral surgery is required a band-aid would be ridiculous!

How can we bring dignity back to the public square?


Did You Miss Your Invitation?

Everybody who’s anybody will be there. Everyone wants to go. It’s the event of the year, actually, of a lifetime. Miss this and you’re likely to spend a lot of energy on sad days. Left to talk about how your life might have turned out if only you’d gotten in.

Junk Mail

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How much would the price of things we really want go down if we stopped all the junk in our mail boxes? There’s a fortune being spent on designing, printing, and distributing mail pieces that go straight from my box into the waste basket. Money that could lower the cost of things that are important. I’m sure I’m not the only one. However, advertisers would stop doing it if it didn’t payoff. I’ve wondered how many times something important got tossed because of the junk that surrounded it. Valuable things that needed my attention. Critical things that could be costly if I neglected to respond accordingly.


I know I saw it. I’ve torn the house apart looking for it. Forced to consider that it got thrown into the trash with the junk mail, I find myself digging through the trash in hope off finding what I didn’t mean to discard. Looking more closely at each insert and advertisement, searching for what is lost, I notice something men notice. A flier with a lower price on an item I just bought. Why didn’t I look at this stuff before I threw it away? I really need to find the notice before it’s too late. If I don’t it could cost me more than it should.

Things turn philosophical fast. Spiritual even. What is wrong with me? Why am I so stupid? Beating myself up for not taking action when I first noticed the envelope. The inner rap pounding against my jugular and taunting my anger. The conversation with myself, escalates to a feverish pitch, completely goes off the reservation. Silliness speaks. You know your dad didn’t teach you how to be a man. You’re a fraud. A first class screwup. You can’t handle life. You’re inept. Oh! These pesky little foxes are messing up my vine.


Subtle small white deceptions filling up my mind-box. Signals, sending me in the opposite direction, to establish competence and authority. Automatically casting aside, at quick glance, everything I classified as junk. I can’t find it. It’s nowhere to be found. I sit alone with my thoughts. Class is in session. I only want to receive checks, inspiration, cards of appreciation in my box. Advisements of tax audits, increases in fees, and expanded responsibilities are unwanted. Junk mail. This is nothing but crapola.

Found It

Life is fickle at best. Moderated by sunshine and dark clouds. Mountaintops and steep valleys. I’ve had my share of junk mail. Intimate communications pulling me into shared hypocrisy. Making it easy for me to miss scheduled appearances with celebrations aplenty. I don’t know you. I didn’t solicit you. I didn’t ask you to send me these experiences. The teacher interrupts my familiar self-diatribe with an inspired exegesis.

LiftOff steve jurvetson flickr

Image courtesy of Steve Jurvetson via

you're invited chibitaryn“Life isn’t a conspiracy against you. In fact, what you get in your mailbox isn’t junk at all. It’s your inducement to higher learning, mastery, and self convincing. Don’t hate challenges so much that you declassify gifts of opportunity as junk mail. Control distraction. Sort through everything to determine what is worthy of time and attention. Prioritize to not mistakenly cast aside the crucial with the irrelevant. It’s your decision.”

Here’s your invitation to the biggest event on the planet; Your Life! Don’t miss it.

Can You Spare Some Magic?

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Magnificence is clearly out of view. Multiple layers of life diabolically withholds essence. Emerging splendor remains imprisoned. Falsely accused innocence tightly sealed. The choice is transparent: Live or Die!

Devalued, first by others, then to yourself. Hard to tell which is more bitter. Common is often mistaken for normal. Working against intuition creates pressure. Compatibility with chaos leads to placement in bargain bins. The game is on. Life is being played. When do I qualify for rehabilitation? How much perfecting of devastation before I’m alive? Barely breathing, minimal pulse? Is that the point where mercy schedules resuscitation? It all fails. I make the turn. I move on.

The decision altered everything. I enter the rise. Knees weak, I bow in reverence, to the crystal white brilliance of original intention. Nostrils flaring from oxygen purity, I searched for what’s missing, it couldn’t be found. My precious story is silenced. Lies aren’t allowed. Expecting to be told to leave, get out, you don’t belong, the command never came. I have no accusers here.

So I’m not entitled to excuses? My scars don’t make me special? Pain isn’t me. Suffering isn’t me either. Identity doesn’t come from misfortune. We all have stuff. We deal with it in different ways. Labels, like toe tags, tell us who’s not alive. We hate labels. Even the ones we brag about. And, cling to. A label can’t tell you who someone is, only where they are.

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We can’t know people by what they’re going through. We have to wait for their response. Grand entrances are made by what you conquer. Lots of things have the potential to destroy you. Ruin your life. In those same moments you have opportunities to work your magic. When life’s critters bite you, with poisonous stingers, remove the venom with forgiveness. It destroys the work of enemies. I refuse to be defined by mistakes and injustices.

I helped myself when I understood my experiences weren’t unique. Details may differ, but every story has one of two endings; you get over it or you don’t. I find my authentic voice, and significance, are in the things I settle. When you solve problems you find your magic. You draw a crowd. People want to know whether it’s just sleight of hand or if you’ve discovered something that can help them too? Everybody wants to know. How did you do it? How did you get through that? How did you ever get over that. I think even more people want to know, how you recovered, from such an enormous mistake. Everyone is seeking remedy for something.

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We all have the power of life within us. We can expose our magnificence. Liberate our essence. Release our splendor. People who journey from blight to bliss, have a magic, that can’t be missed. Their laugh is deep. Joy abiding! Is everything perfect in their world? No. They just learned how not to give their power away. It’s part of their magic. I must warn you; they’re contagious. They’re strong, resilient, dedicated, troopers of triumph! Owning your heart is the most magical part. This bunch loves to share. If you come to the party bring your own straw. A big one. The biggest you can find! Your magic is your miracle!

How will you find your magic?  or  How did you find your magic?