Read My Mind!

Every now and then it’s good to hear something positive, inspirational, and empowering to offset the barrage of negativity heaped on our tender little heads.

I’ve discovered a great way to upset the proverbial apple cart, of status quo manipulation, is to find something uplifting to inject into my bloodstream. Resulting in the release of incredible amounts of dopamine and causing concern among the haters. I can’t help but get a kick out of the shock I see on the faces of warmongers who think peace, joy, and love are dirty words.

I’ve made friends with a group of people who have the habit of doing good and work to make the world a better place. They use their gifts and invest their talents to bring smiles and warmth to people and places that desperately need it. They comprise a growing community of International Personalities, joined by the common cause of supporting the hopes and dreams of each other, and of those who connect with the group.

There have been times when I realized I missed out on the beginning of something big. I’ve never gotten used to that horrible feeling, of hearing about the party, just as it was ending. Whether you are an author, blogger, writer, poet, lyricist/musician or a hungry reader I encourage you to give yourself this dose of feel good. 

While our mission includes education of the arts, and entertainment for the hearts, I’m certain we are offering something worthy of your time. We are sponsoring contests in a variety of playing fields, informing on things to know, and sharing life in a way that invites others to live large. And best of all it’s,  FREE! Sign up with your email address and your inbox will thank you with a happy face.

I’m proud to be associated with such a noble endeavor. It’s an honor to be a contributor to this virtuous cause. This online magazine is certain to become a must read for anyone looking to strengthen themselves with the strength of others. The First Edition of Read My Mind is coming on April 4th. Don’t miss it!

You deserve a rich, rewarding, and abundant life!

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Don’t Leave Home Without Them!

Preparing for the good life?

The three must-haves;  Affirmation, Identity, A Sense of Worthiness

Image via Flickr Creative Commons, courtesy of DualD Flip Flop

By dualdflipflip on flickr

Affirmation

Emotional support is necessary to grow organically. It shapes the way we see ourselves and initiates our world view. What gets embedded in our formative years will be present, for many years to come, if not our entire lives. 

Our inherent value is established or disrupted in the process of affirmation. Hyperinflation can lead to an unhealthy attitude of entitlement. The absence of affirmation can lead to a victim mentality. Words and, more importantly, feelings stay with us.

We emerge thinking the world is friendly or unfriendly. We move forward with trusting or distrusting perceptions. Foundations of love or fear tend to dominate our private landscapes. Intuition can be replaced with suspicion. Anger can turn into self-sabotage.

Proper affirmation settles our right to be here, sets up a purposeful life, and qualifies us to handle the inevitable ups and downs of living. Good decision-making is evidence of how soundly we are affirmed. Where we are in our lives can be traced to the quality of our affirmation.

Identity

Adolescence is a nesting ground. A time for discovering our gifts, talents, and calling. A time when personality declares itself. Traits like sociability and irritability become apparent. We display tendencies toward leadership and the spotlight or express desire for less attention and notoriety.

We navigate body changes, peer pressure, and endure exploration en route to finding ourselves. We seek acceptance and respect. We crave to be seen and heard. We learn about betrayal and rejection. We develop methods for obtaining approval and praise.

Leaving the nest should be less about self-discovery and more about self-expression. Every year millions of people spend millions of dollars in the quest for identity. The void created by this missing piece is the culprit for much dysfunction. There is simply no replacement for the platform of identity. 

Sense of Worthiness

Worthiness makes all things possible. I doubt that anything can define worthiness better than self-respect. Much disappointment comes from waiting for other people to give us what we are unwilling to give ourselves. There’s a well used saying; “you don’t get what you want – you get what you are.” Knowing why things happen is eye-opening.

euphoria by h.koppdelaney on flickr

By h.Koppdelaney on flickr

Maturity is the result of nurturing potential. When our importance is communicated we’re able to gain independence. We flourish when our expectations aren’t embattled in self-doubt. Nothing hinders accomplishment like feelings and thoughts of being undeserving. Worthiness is not ego driven. In fact, it’s the opposite. Worthiness doesn’t have to force anything – it’s a force of nature!   

We shove off on the journey of life with expectations rooted in our psyche. We are either committed to balance or we’re bent toward extreme. We are grounded in the concept of giving and receiving, holistically, or we struggle for position. Acceptance is the only proof worthiness requires.

Parenting Our Adult Selves

In a perfect world nothing would go wrong. Every experience would be virtuous. Every choice would be noteworthy. Anything bad would be excluded. But, all relationships are wrapped in humanity. From parents to significant others to bosses and our own children we deal with imperfection. Understanding misunderstandings is in our job descriptions.

Excuses defy reason. Blaming others is the practice of avoiding personal responsibility. A loyalty to what went wrong. Reasons offer the understanding needed for change. I had a horrible beginning, a lot of people do. Many of my decisions stayed true to my start in life. Realizing I don’t need to change the events, or the players in my past, freed me to move toward the life I want.

There’s no substitute for clarity. Affirmation, identity, and a sense of worthiness will clear the debris from reality. Opening up opportunities for progress. These things are possible at any age and any stage. We deserve a rich, rewarding, and fulfilling life. 

Empower yourself. Pick up a copy of my book: Available on Amazon  

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The Secret of Creative Competition!

AWARENESS                                                                                                                                                       I was born with it. I’ve lived with it. I’ve dreamed about it. I’ve nurtured it. I’ve left it sitting idle. I’ve picked it up again. I know it will never leave me alone. In spite of moments of frustration, if it disappeared, I’d be lost. It’s the thing I’m meant to do.

outoffocus Harry Pointer en.wikipedia

Image via en.wikipedia.org, courtesy of Harry Pointer

It can be overwhelming. How do I get this thing out of me. How do I make it live in the real world. I’ve trained. I’ve learned. I’ve worked hard at my craft. I’ve tried to focus on the things that are supposed to get me where I want to be. One set back after another has caused me to doubt myself. My gift. My purpose. I’ve walked away. I’ve come back to it. Like a revolving door I’ve gone round and round. I’ve danced with it. I’ve ignored it. I’ve held on to it for dear life. I can’t let go because it is me. It’s who I am.

Comparing ourselves thwarts individuality. We have common destinations – we do not have common journeys. Being exactly like someone else could only result in the loss of uniqueness. The distinction we are born with isn’t meant to turn us into plebs. Our struggle is more about how we are pursuing than what we are pursuing.

Broken Systems                                                                                                                                                 Magic happens when someone emerges from the masses. The declaration is undeniable, the message is clear, I’ve found myself and this is who I am. While imitation might be the best form of flattery, we can miss the point. Personal empowerment isn’t to follow in the steps of someone else. It’s to observe how they stopped following in the steps of others.

Divine intention is embedded in each of us. When we sacrifice the significance within we submit to being wrapped in the heap of those who never break from the doldrums. To find the sum of who we are we need the right equation. It’s not the stars on stage that we should count, it’s the stars in the sky.

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Image via flickr.com, courtesy of George Hotelling

Human aspirations are often cloaked in designer rhetoric that stunts our own growth. Following dictates of idolizing is a good way to render our lives idle, immobile, and unfulfilled.

Celebrating others is required for personal momentum. If it becomes more than appreciation we may be forfeiting our creative genius. The very thing that is fighting to be set free.

ASSESSING CORRECTLY                                           New research points out that the pursuit of happiness has become a burden for many. Causing stress, which defeats the reason for searching for it, in the first place. Trying to be someone or something you’re not is certain to hold bliss at bay. Defining meaning is personal.                           

insanity Connor McKee commons wikimedia

Image via commons.wikimedia.com courtesy of Connor McKee

There’s consensus for finding success in daily ritual. The desire to achieve greatness is often bewitched by ignoring small and consistent actions. Discipline, as it turns out, is not profane.

Affirmation, clarity, and identity doesn’t come after accomplishment – they come before it. We aren’t waiting for the world to recognize us, the world is waiting for us to recognize ourselves. Our routine speaks to how we see ourselves.

 

THE FINAL FRONTIER

We all begin with something to complete before we are finished. Competition is the single greatest threat to completing our assignment. When I heard Jack Canfield, of Chicken Soup for the Soul fame, share that he was turned down 144 times before he obtained a publisher, I understood something. When you know what you are supposed to do you do it until you can’t be ignored. With over 500 million copies in print worldwide,  Jack didn’t see competition, he saw completion.

makeyourmark supermom_4110

Image courtesy of pixabay via supermom_4110

The Breakaway’s, those that rise to the top, don’t see a field of competition; they see a field of completion. External competition is imaginary. It’s an illusion. A distraction. Competition feeds the ego, dabbles in deception, and pollutes our best virtues. You can prevent the very thing that’s trying to find you. Completion is about peeling back the layers until all self defeat is gone.

The secret to creative competition is to know, deep in your soul, your only competition is inside you!

 

 

 

 

 

Defining Moments!

The exercise was clear enough; list seven defining moments in your life.

What wasn’t so clear were the actual seven moments that defined me. Having never taken the time to pinpoint the life events that had altered/corrected my life left me to breathe in without exhaling.

euphoria by h.koppdelaney on flickr

Image courtesy of h.koppdelaney via flickr.com

Contemplating my landmark thoughts, feelings, decisions, and life experiences left me reeling to think, feel, decide, and experience the moment I was in. How do I wade thru the years of ups and downs, successes and failures, and the happy and sad times to declare just which occurrences qualified for such prestigious notoriety?

Thick fear appeared to big to mess with. What if I’m not defined? What are the undeniable instances of impact? How many times did I feel the music but didn’t dance? Do I need to acknowledge the magical personal revelations that remained bottled up inside with no corresponding action? What if I don’t have any historical changes to herald?

Leaning into my pilgrimage I methodically visited with the highways and byways of my past. The mountain tops and valley’s flashed across the memory screen of my mind. There were highs and lows falling on my think-tank like hard rain. Thunder and lightning called up familiar emotions wrapped in wanted and unwanted thoughts.

The questioning was offensive. How dare I cross-examine my own authenticity so vehemently. Who’s side am I on, anyway? Negative energy attempted to quell the monumental whisper trying to be recognized. At my core cried the mature infant; I am here and I want to speak.

Image result for cross examination

Image courtesy of T.H.Matteson via wikipedia.org

For much of my life I had consented to the chaotic cloud that hovered overhead blocking the light. I inwardly twisted in despair. Wait! Something is happening here. A defining moment? No doubt! A new thing was emerging from a womb previously denied.

I was a man who had miscarried again and again. The kick of life forbidden wore scars into the walls of my stomach. And I remembered the day I chose to live. I struggled narrowing the chain of events into specific times. It had to be done, in order to square myself with all that had been, with all that is to be.

Yielding to the notion that something was missing was only a fabrication altered the direction I was heading. The affirmation, clarity, and worthiness I had searched for resided within me. Rejection and abandonment were only distractions presenting themselves as permanent fixtures. I am in defining mode!

External factors are impotent to declare identity. They can only reflect what we believe about ourselves. I am hearing my voice rise above the mob screams telling me to stay where I am. Demanding I forfeit the invitation to come up higher. Rebellion delivered the virtue needed to proclaim, NO MORE! I moved on because I could.

I permitted the grief and tears over my neglected reality. The vigil was standing room only. I barely got all of me in the room. Sensing the finality of separation I was left the opposite of cold. Memories would persist but things will never be the same. With lightness in my chest, a dry mouth, and unimaginable relief I had won the Spelling Bee.

My list now flowed in unexpected ease. Multitudes of question marks gave up their seats for periods and exclamation points. Running so fast, focused on catching up to my liberation, I didn’t immediately realize the pain was gone. I had broken through, puncturing, misappropriated denotations.

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Image courtesy of UpSticksNgo Crew via flickr.com

What I had  been hiding behind were articles of deception. Designer labels stitched together in the sweatshop of fallacy. I wore unwanted, unlovable, unworthy like required dress code. I window shopped purpose, clarity, and worthiness desiring to be fitted for a custom, made for me, life. Wrinkle free, permanent press, only disguised a disheveled heart, broken by the wardrobe, of dysfunctional dynamics.

Aligning with divine intention censored my emptiness. Our blueprint doesn’t call for us to be sidelined, left out, and excluded from the acquisition of the finer things in life. We’re not tinder for someone else’s fire. When there is no expectation of peace and harmony disappointment reigns supreme. Dissonance necessitates a paradigm shift

We are worthy of a rich, rewarding, and abundant life! 

     All defining moments have the inherent purpose of facilitating this truth!

What are your defining moments?

Be-younger.com on flickr

Image courtesy of Be-younger on flickr.com