What really happens when a father goes to work? Beyond the obvious provisions and opportunities, that derive from his labor, what goes on in his work life?
If he’s been effective at nurturing the wings, wisdom, and wonder of his children he has established a feeling of security. More importantly, he’s established a sense of worthiness, clarity, and the early discovery of individual identity. When he walks out the door for his place of employment it’s just part of what he does for himself, his family, and his future.
In an ever-changing world where little job security exists, competition is fierce, and technology advances faster than you can spell obsolete, he faces every day. Does he wrestle with his own feelings and thoughts of being less than enough? With the weight of hopes and dreams resting on his shoulders is he asking himself whether or not he can pull it off?
The future of his family is in his hands. But what about the man himself. Did his father teach him what he needs to know? Was his father even there? Did he get his issues resolved from childhood? Did he manage to depart adolescence without any life altering scars before he became a dad himself? What, if any, is the depth of his internal conflicts.
WHAT IS PROPER PAY SCALE?
What about the culture of his job? Is the environment one in which people are only important for the money-making mission at hand? Does he work, day after day, watching his back because at any minute he can find a knife in it? What are the chances he performs at optimum capacity and gets appreciated for doing so?
As the dinner bell rings, the door swings open, and dad walks in. No matter what the day put him through he has only love and appreciation for the family gathered around the table. What happens here is not for money. In fact, the work here is compensated far differently. Money would be an insult to the value of this work.
Does the man making a million dollars a year have different responsibilities toward his children than the man making 30 thousand dollars a year? A man has to provide for his dependents. Take care of the necessities of life. Offer some opportunities for leisure and fun experiences. He has to at least help finance dreams. A man has to make a living.
Bringing sustenance to the table is work. Valuable work that can not and should not be minimized in its virtue. But it’s not the most important work in the lives of fathers.
THE POWER OF SHOWING UP!
When a father goes to work he ensures his children have a sense of worthiness inherent in every breath they breathe. They have a sense of clarity about where they will find significance in the vast sea of life. They will be confident in who they are, their own identity. They won’t be searching for someone else to tell them who they are. They won’t be looking for anyone to complete them.
When a dad goes to work the world is made a better place. Because he does not send overindulged narcissistic offspring, artificially connected through technological relationships, incapable of empathy, and highly entitled thinkers into society. He doesn’t release thoughtless whiner’s, prone to temper tantrums, and violent protesters who upend the possibility of moderate resolution because they are too self-centered and demanding to validate anyone who disagrees with them.
When a dad goes to work he teaches respect for difference. He demonstrates how to stand your ground, occupy your space, without compromising your beliefs while co-existing with a world that might be searching for its own identity. He provides an understanding for cultures, attitudes, and values from all walks of life. He will teach how to fight, but most importantly, he will instruct as to when to fight.
Fatherlessness is pandemic. Widespread across the world and its many societies. Some people find politics entertaining. As many of my fellow countrymen were closely watching our recent election, I was closely watching our country. The evidence of fatherlessness is undeniable to me. We have a father hole the size of humanity.
I wonder what would happen if dads would go to work!
Check out my recently released book:
IF ONLY I HAD A DAD: Finding Freedom From Fatherlessness